Khmerbeauty 1 Life 1 Destiny

Kerstin and I have been engrossed in extensive discussions about weight loss.  I want to pose a few questions that keeps playing in my head.

What is your weight loss philosophy?

Why are you on this Journey?

What do you expect at the “end” of your journey?  Is there an end to your journey?

Why are you here on buddyslim?

“Ninety-five percent of all dieters gain the weight back.” Do you want to be a part of the 5% success rate or are you the 95% failure rate?  If 1 in 10 people are expected to make it - DO YOU THINK YOU ARE ONE?

My weight loss philosophy is healthy living with a lot of hard work - daily.  Meaning I treasure my body and treat it like a piece of diamond.  I exercise 5 to 6 days a week, I mix cardio, with weights,pilates, yoga and good food.  I don’t starve my body.  I give it the proper fuel.  I give it everything it needs to perform for me.   I do not believe in quick fixes.  I do not believe in diets, fads, fast results.  I believe in slow progression. I believe in being mindful of my body, soul and breath connection.

I am on this journey for myself.  I am on it for the long haul.  I’m on it for the rest of my life.  I’m on it so I can in turn be there for my family and loved ones.

There is no end to this journey.  I will always tweak it.  The maintenance part is far harder and stressful then the losing part.  Plateaus are a part of this journey, so are high cal days, sickness, good days and bad days.  There is no 365 days to this cycle.  It is endless.  It is the air I breathe.

I’m on buddyslim because I feel sooooooooooooooooooooooo good helping others.  I love reaching out to new people, to my friends and being there for one another.  I love giving.  I’m here to give.

I am and will be part of the 5% that is successful.  I will have almost 5 yrs under my belt.

Yes, it can be done.

TO answer my own title question - I am on this journey until the end.

Don’t be part of the 95%!  Don’t fall for fads.  Don’t fall for the newest trends and latest gadgets.

Be honest with yourself.  What do you think?  Are you here for the long haul?

God gave you 2 arms, 2 legs, some big lungs, a big heart - use it!  No need to take pills or do anything other then eat the food provided bye earth, the animals that roams it and breathe the (smog in my case) air and make good of it.

Nothing more and nothing less!!!!

Tonight I did my set - cardio/weights combo and had a great time. PUSH-UPS WAS IN IT BUT NOT ENOUGH FOR ME!! I DID A TOTAL OF 150 FOR MYSELF!

Lana, my hip hop instructor emailed us the color for our outfit BLUE!!! I’m so blued out - I have my top, my shoes which is black with blue stripes, my blue bandana and my cap!  She wants to film us for youtube again!!!! Wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll I have to see what the clip looks like first.  I would hate to send the link and I look like a fool!! Remember I this is only my second months into hip hop so I’m still learning the moves and adding my own style.  I must must must beat at least 1500 calories for kickboxing and hip hop.

I want to kick ASSSSSS!!!!  I want to drip drip with sweat!  I love love to sweat.  I love sweat between my toes, I love my sweaty and wet socks, I love my sweaty top, I love my sweaty crotch………………. I love sweating dripping of my hair and hitting the ground all around me!! It’s all a sign of a good workout.

Not talking about the sweat from a hot room, but sweat I earned!! I earned my sweat and love to bask in it.

Soooooooooooooo anyone with me on sweating a bit today?

SWEAT SWEAT SWEAT IT OUT!!!!!  Oh and the stink that comes from a great work out…………..peeeeee uuuuuuuu but I love it!!!  I heart the dirty dirty of a good hot calorie burning heart pumping two hours of fun!!! OK, better not get sooo excited I can’t work. 

I just want to say, I’m NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT BURNT OUT ON BUDDYSLIM!  I just needed some help and finally I got some recently from a dear friend.  I need aid and she provided it.  Sometimes people don’t realize how much effort it takes to keep something like a forum going strong.  It doesn’t happen on its own.  It takes a lot of nurturing, dedication and being a good and very intuitive leader.  I needed help and I got it!! Thanks girl!!!!!

As far as buddyslim and the “slowness or lack of participation” we all felt, I find that there is a little fire burning under all of us!!! Keep it up guys!  Don’t wait for your peer to be active, YOU BE ACTIVE AND BE THERE FOR OTHERS!!!

I’m fast approaching my 5 yr anniversary of the first day of my journey.  I can’t believe the number!  The closer it gets the more anxious I become.

Why?  Because I feel like I’ve come far but I still need to address so many other issues.

Well, aside from me, I would like to know, where do each of my buddyslimmers see themselves in 5 yrs time?

1.  Met “Ultimate” goal with weight and health

2.  Almost there

3. Still struggling and maintaining

4.  No where near goal

5.  Heavier and bigger then the day you started

6.  Other…………can’t think of more LOL

Sometimes we get caught up in the daily grind and focus on the small stuff.  I do that all the time.  Before I know it months past, and a few yrs passed.  I’m like, where did all this time go?

Honestly, 5 yrs ago I just knew I wanted to be hot at 30 yrs old.  Oh my when I was in my 20’s,  30 is downhill for youth you know!!  LOL If only I knew. It gets better.  I’m younger and better then I was in all my 20’s. 

Think about your goals, think about how you are going to meet them.

Baby steps…..leads to big steps…leads to days, months and years.  REMEMBER ONLY 1 IN 5 LOSES WEIGHT AND KEEPS IT OFF FOR MORE THEN 5 YRS!

I want to see you at your best in 5 yrs and longer.  It starts  - TODAY!

I better get ready with the food eating so I can go to kickboxing in a couple hours.

Fountain of youth is not a fountain or a pill………..its loving yourself, eating good nutritious food AND EXERCISE!  It’s about taking care of yourself everyday.  I’ve gotten carded more times now then I ever did in my 20’s when I was fat.  No pills for me - just give me some self love!

What’s a better to end a Friday then taking two great classes?  It was soooooooooo muuucccchhhh fun!!!!  KICKBOXING AND HIP HOP IS ON!!!!!!

HIP HOP takes II was much better then day 1!  I’m not as scared to be myself as I was last week.

Yesterday I used the BOSU and did this side to side low stance move on the black side.  Oh my I was feeling it in my sides like crazy today.

Anyhow, it’s on here.  I did two 5K’s this week.  My other cardio goal was to get back to a 10K.  I will do it tomorrow.  No excuses.  The new running shoes are broken in.  I’m going to go to bed early and get an early dawn run in.  This will be the first 10K in about 2 weeks for me.

I’m not sure what happened the last two weeks; my interest in kickboxing came back and been pushing my run to the side.  Well, I can’t do that if I have two 5K’s to do and with Blaithin in my head telling me I can do a 1/2 marathon, I’m a bit scurred.

I hope tomorrow early morning my report is the 10K all run is in.  NO, I know that will be the report.

Then in the afternoon I plan to do Nancy’s custom bootcamp!! WHOO HOO!!!  Feels good to be on track again and again.

But I do know where I’ve fallen off the wagon with in the past 3 weeks - my yoga classes!  I went from doing 7 days a week to maybe 2 days a week. :(  I just keep running out of time but no more.

My mom, found out an operation is in the making to remove her feminine parts.  She’s scared but I told her to go for it.  It will save her life.   I feel bad;actually I’m having a hard time dealing with it all.  I don’t want to think about losing her on the heels on losing such great people.  But I will have faith it will all work out. 

Exists each and every day.  It was June last year that a buddy wrote a blog about what  would you do once you get to your goal weight.  I wrote “To look in the mirror and love myself”.  It’s been one year since I wrote that statement to Chrisie.  Chrisie via email made me realize it doesn’t have to be like that.  From that moment on I started to look in the mirror and love who I am.  There are days I still don’t like who I see, both the inner and outer, but they are far and in between.   

What helps most is having Rodney as a partner.  All my insecurities, let’s be real, we all have them regardless of status, class, looks…..it exists, can only be an insecurity if we allow it.  I don’t like many things about myself but with his patience, I am still learning to overcome them.

Do I have high self esteem?  NO!  I am a work in progress.  Each day it gets easier.  The negative self talk is almost gone.  Hence, the reason why I now stand up for myself, my beliefs, my opinions and point of views.  I used to be a people pleaser and say things to please others.  Not anymore.  I will always have my own opinion and respect those of others.  But at the same time, I’m very bendable.  I love change and welcome it.  I hunger for knowledge and growth.  I am forever evolving.  

This morning the lines for Transformer II was rediculous.  They ended up opening 5 auditorium instead of 1.  It was worth it.  For us, our first date was the first Transformer movie.  We were excited to have our own little annivesary of sorts.  Now I’m running on less then 4 hours of sleep.  Movie is really good.  We will see it again next week in IMAX.  YAWN!

Blaithin, I decided not to run today.  I don’t feel the energy today.  BUT I will go to Kickboxing and Pilates.  I thought I would not have time to do it but the evening is open for 2 hours of fun.

Shellibean hon, my Cambodian name, is *Sreymoum*  meaning beautiful, honey….etc.  It’s a name designated for the eldest daughter.  Well, there’s many variation of it.  Because when my mom is mad at me she changes it to a mean version. :)    

Shaina, do get the BOSU.  It sells for about $70 to $80 online I think.

I had such a great time in all 3 classes.  Step was awesome!  We did a new routine and I kicked it up a ton of notches.  Kickboxing was great but I was getting tired by hr #2.  Yoga, ah, she killed our triceps with tricep push-ups! YAY!!!  Suffice to say I’m exhausted to the max!  I drank a ton of water with electrolytes added and ate my energy bar in between classes.  I’m just too tired to take a shower.   I stink.  Completely and utterly stinker!

Blaithin, next month I will certainly try to make it to a custom runner shoe store for a pair but for now, I can’t budget it in.  Instead I went bargain cheapo and bought a pair of New Balance running shoes for $35.00.  See, I have the expensive ones that cost me $120 but I rarely wear it because my foot shrunk 1/2 a size since I bought them.  Since I’m only going into my 5th month of running, I figured I need to spend my money wisely.  As I did today.  And Rod replaced some of my black tank tops that conveniently disappeared during a wash a couple weeks ago.

Tuesday evening I’m not sure If I will exercise or take the day off yet.   It’s to be determined.  I want to do something but I will have to wait and listen to my body.  If it tells me tomorrow is good I will do something.

Been thinking a lot about our instant gratification  society that we live in.  For the most part, most buddyslim members are in long term relationships or marriages which is great.  We have some great single ladies too.

Something happened to a wonderful friend of mine and my heart goes out to her.  It tears me up to see how hurt she is by a man she loved.  He is cruel.  He swept her off her feet only done to feed his own ego.  This friend is a wonderful person and does not deserve the bullshi* she got from him.  But I know she is strong enough to get pass this difficult period and one day find the man of her dreams.

Now, I know how much it hurts because my ex not only cheated on me numerous times, but the final time, the one in which I had direct evidence, I left him for.  Even then, he still try to lie,cheat and deceit his way into my heart.

My question is, how many of us really know if our loved ones is being true to us?  How many of our men have lied to our faces and been with other women?  How many of us truly knows the truth?  Do we really want to know the truth?

I believe, as I told my friend Blaithin, that there are very few faithful men and I’m sure faithful women out there.  Especially in this age, this time where a man can be on the computer talking to someone else and we may or may not know about it.  How would you handle it if it was you?  Would you leave or stay?  Does having children play a role in your decisions?

How I’ve handled it with my boyfriend, we have a very open relationship that allows us to freely talk about ourselves.   There’s very little I do not know.  I know most everything that he does.  Not to say it couldn’t happen again.  But I established from the first day I met him what I expect from a man.  I hope and wish that by keeping an open relathionship where we do not feel the need to hide our desires and dreams will keep our relationship free of the deceit that I’ve experienced in the past.

I didn’t want to get up.  Didn’t want to leave the comfort of my bed but I have something to prove to myself - have to do it.  One pant leg at a time, one shoe lace tied at a time.  As much as I didn’t want to it this morning  I just went.  After the warm up I still did not want to wake up.

But along the first mile of running I felt my spirit soar.  One foot in front of the other one step at a time.  When I made that turn to go back home 2.4 miles I had two choices - run it or walk it, I ran the whole way through.

I timed it Blaithin!! I did the run part 3.4 miles in 31 minutes! I used my music as a stopwatch.  THIS IS MY FIRST TIMED OUTSIDE RUN AND I LOVED IT!  The mile walk was my warm up and cool down.  Whew, morning was the shi*! :)  Blaithin, now my run is faster on the treadmill, but I will start shaving time off in the coming weeks.

I realize today that I’ve been depressed probably for the past month but didn’t recognize the signs till recently.

But as always, I refuse to allow anything to stop me from doing my thing.  Got my run in, then Ashtanga yoga later in the morning.

Oh, this evening I’m having so much fun with the WII FIT!!!!  Um, still can’t dance but I will sure try.

I won’t pretend and say I feel like myself just yet.  But just like my run, one step at a time I will get there.  Thanks to all who supported me yesterday.  Meant alot.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm This morning I set a simple goal = 5K walk in the morning and 5K run in the evening.

After much thought I decided to make this an exercise “off” day because I have a lot of exercise planned for the next 4 days.  On top of that my shoulders is still a little sore, nothing bad because I watched my form and did the Pilates workout correctly.  It’s from doing a very good session with a very good instructor.  Soreness tells me I did it spot on.

However, I’m am a worry wort.  I prefer to baby my body versus pushing.  Therefore no weights today and probably tomorrow.  With that said, the run will have to wait too for tomorrow.

You know me, I won’t take anything standing up - literally.  Being this is an off exercise day I did yep 10 MILES OF WALKING!   All before , during and on my last break.  I don’t consider walking an exercise for me because I don’t sweat like I would like say running or kickboxing or step.

What did today and a lot of my unconventional exercise days taught me?  NO EXCUSES!!! I refuse to give myself an excuse not to exercise.

Time running short?  Make time for it…, no equipment - WALK!  Do push-ups! Do something!

I refuse to play the I have no time game.  If you don’t make time for your body, you won’t get what you want out of it.  Enough said.

Oh, and this is me venting again….not talking about anyone in particular.  Just me telling myself how it’s done in Nancy’s world.

Just like your food, you have to know how to zig zag your exercise to get the most out of it.  Never stalemate your workouts!

Yes, don’t ever settle!! Settle leads to failure.  Set goals and go into overdrive and get it in but also be mindful of your body.

Food wise I barely made the 1680 minimum.  I packed some roasted corn on the cob for the movies.  We are going to see Angels and Demons.  Won’t be surprise if I hit my 2000 mark today.  Even so, that will keep me in the right calorie range.

Saturday morning, ok, gotta really do my 5K run unless my shoulder is good then I do weights and yoga.

You know how you guys said go for your run?  Well, I just didn’t have time to sneak it into my day at work.  FORTUNATELY!!!! I MADE IT TO THE GYM FOR ALL 3 CLASSES!

Your not too smart girl here looked at the wrong schedule!  I did my 3 classes!  Not only did I do them but I did them with a ton on energy.  Thank Mr. Adrenaline aka STRESS!  I love my classes!  I took all my anxiety out in each hour!  3 hours of lovin’ coming my way was exactly what I needed.  AND AND this new guy who was in yoga - I told him don’t be scared of Nygel’s Power yoga class - he didn’t believe me - until he did the class AND COULDN’T DO ALL THE TRICEPS PUSH-UPS WITH ME AND MY 5 HOMEGIRLS!  Yep, don’t estimate underestimate the power of strong women! LOL Oh, no don’t even try to give me any girl push-ups! We are talking about full body all the way get them out triceps I mean business push-ups!

Oh, Rod tells me I looked crossed eyed in my default pic!! Now I have to sit here and go through my birthday pics and find something else to use.  Now, how come no one else told me I looked crossed eyed?  Shoot maybe I should take my crossed eye and cross him out!!!! AH baby PMS is here and I’m going to hurt the man.  Now I feel dumb having this picture up this whole time.

Tomorrow, I’m going with him to LA to see what we can do about postponing his interview.  There’s no way we can go without an attorney and his mom!

PRAY FOR US!

Oh, tomorrow morning - I’m so doing a 5K run before work.

LOL - let me go settle down and come off my exercise high.  Anyone need a shot of energy?  I have some to spare!

I Have no idea what happened to my first blog.

I just want to start off by saying, I love this site.  We are here to support one another on our individual journeys.  Of course, what an individual does is their prerogative, their call because it’s their life.  My job as a buddy is to be here and give myself to the best of my abilities.  We will not always see eye to eye on issues, but that’s what makes this place great - we still support one another.  Can I call myself a veteran  Buddyslimmer?  Well,  I think in a few years I can LOL.  But I’ve seen a lot of things happen on this site.  I am by nature a very quiet person, for the most part.  I don’t like confrontation at all.  But on this site I have voiced my very strong opinions about certain issues - my main one being diet pills, supplements and what not.  I voice my opinion because I do have some knowledge of these issues.  Now, if I don’t have any knowledge of say running, you won’t see me commenting much on that issue because I don’t want to look like a butthead!  Plain and simple.  Well, I run now but I’m far from being knowledgeable.

So how I handle myself and offer support is base on things that I know.  If I don’t have one clue about it I won’t go into details and let others who knows more about it address it.  That’s my point of view.  I’m also learning that I have to start taking a few steps back before commenting on anyone’s blog, forum postings,etc………I realize that a blog is just a tiny glimpse of someone’s life.  I told myself that I will stop jumping to conclusions and take my time to ask questions, if I don’t understand something.  Or if I know nothing then I won’t say anything at all.

I DID IT!  I DID IT! I DID IT!  I ran my first 10K non-stop.  I chose to not look at the time because this is my first full run.  Maybe in a few weeks I can start timing myself.  In order to grow and becoming a stronger running I have decided to do a few things.  I am forever shaving time off each run, adding mileage when I can, cross train my heart out, build my core for stamina and last but not least learn and continue to use Yoga and meditation to make a mind, body and soul connection.

Did I mention already I did a 6 miles + all my little old self!!!! :)  Then I did 40 minutes of yoga with a focus on stretching my leg muscles and 20 min. of meditation.

Well, mom and I have not been on speaking terms for almost two months -  my doing.  But today I went and bought flowers for her and my sis.  They both cried.  I’m still having problems communicating with mom, but this is a stepping stone right?

Yes, Rod is so on board with my meditation practice! YAH!  He agrees I need to de-stress and hopefully things will work and we will have a visit from the stork ourselves.  We are both very excited about making changes and making moves towards becoming a better couple.  I think with my med practice, it will help our relationship and we will grow closer then ever.   But I’m so not putting all my eggs in one basket.  Just one issue at a time.

Every day is a new day!! Make the best of it!