Nancy’s Weight loss Journey 5 Yrs & Counting

Albert Einstein once said “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”

Webster definition of practice: to do repeated exercises for proficiency

As a kid did you color inside the box or outside?  I loved coloring inside the box.  I am a perfectionist in some aspect and a free spirit in others.  But when it comes to coloring I love precision and doing things perfectly.  I will start all over again with a new coloring page if I mess up.

I carry that attitude into adulthood.  I am by far a perfectionist.

When it comes to exercise I thrive on consistency, being perfectionist and I love to practice.  It’s the only way to grow.  When I first started so many years ago I had no idea what “form” was let alone good form.  In weights class I had no idea what I was doing but because I want to be like the best of the best I watch the best looking people, fittest people and mimic them.  And I google the rest and watch youtube videos on form….then I go to class and practice some more.  I practice and I expect to see better results.

In kickboxing I was lost for the first three months but I continue to go, relentless and a bit insane but I expected different results and I got it.  Practice, consistency, thrive, desire all brought results

Then I added Step, same goes with Step I was a clutz but practice,drive took me to perfecting form.  Then Pilates, then yoga and the list goes on.  When I started running this year I practice, I tweak my run, watch my form and sure enough I picked up speed and got stronger and ran longer.  Can’t say I ran any time recently but I can whenever I want.

My point is, when it comes to exercise YOU HAVE TO BE CONSISTENT, YOU HAVE TO REPEAT REPEAT AND REPEAT YOUR PRACTICE.  It’s the only way you train your muscles, grow stronger, last longer and become better at it.

Like right now, I know which routine my hip hop class is on.  I youtube it, been watching it and practicing it.  Watch me, I go back to each class with better form then the week before.

Whenever you want to skip out your exercise routine, remember being insane about exercise - is a good thing! :)  Nothing wrong with doing it over and over again, result can be the same or it can be better.

Tuesday night I swam for 45 minutes.  Not sure if it’s the heat or what but I was only able to get in 20 minutes of jump rope and 20 min of weights.  I didn’t do any push-ups.

And Wednesday - gotta love my second favorite day of the week.  Both my favorite instructors are on board for Kickboxing and Pilates.

Recently, as I know my buddy Kerstin wrote about it and I’ve seen numerous times, people keeps asking “what about me?”  I did my part, I participated and I did what I can for buddyslim, how come I’m not getting some back?

Honestly, and I can’t speak for ANYONE, NO ONE, other then myself.  I believe that the last few months has been slow in terms of support.  But you know, as the saying goes, you get what you put in!!!!!

And one of the reasons why I started taking some time off from this site.  At least 1 day a week.  I would spend hours and hours on end here, supporting as many blogs as I can and I was involved in more then 6 forums at a time.

BLOGS SUPPORT Then and Now

What is different for blog support for me.

I used to and still read the daily blogger’s blog like Holly, Becky, Kerstin, Kama, Marie, Dagny, Jacki’s, Lace is back to it, Jessica, Jessie, Nisey, Loni, Poetry, Tina’s…etc and so many others.

But along the way I notice that there are some people who consistently supports me.  YOU Can call it a CLIQUE if you want!  I hear it all the time.  The truth is they are the same people who’s I supported from the beginning AND THEY ALWAYS SUPPORTED ME!  I always support old members who return and stay and I support new blogs.

You get to know these people.  Like how RB now has a name Becky.  And Holly’s struggle with food addiction such as mine and I love seeing new pics of Dagny as she shrinks.  Yes, I know a lot about them.  You can’t take that away from us!!!  We are going to be there for one another just like we have in the past.  Yes, we don’t always see eye to eye on issues, but hey, we respect each other and will always be there for one another.

Blogging these days

I find that I can spend ALL my time supporting some people and they don’t care to even say hi or even get to know me.  Now, why should I bother getting to know more about them?  Why?  They don’t care about me!  It’s all about give and take.  Don’t expect me to read 15 of your blogs and say hi to you and you can’t say hi to me once!  Therefore, I started skipping out on their blogs just like they do mine!  Sad but the truth for me at least.

New bloggers - I support as many  new buddyslimmers and new bloggers as I can.  Some people I hit it off with and some I don’t.  That’s just how it rolls.

Forums

I used to be involved in a lot of forums but as I noted before, I decided it’s in my best interest to have a life outside of buddyslim.  Therefore I needed to cut out many forums and thank you forum buddies for taking it in stride.  The one and only forum I’m committed to is the WILDCATS, well, it’s simple - they are my friends and my team mates.  They have always been there for me.  As I support them as team leader it is also my obligation to support their journal/blog as I do now.

My conclusion to all this, many people stay and many people leave and come back.  It’s easier to stick with those who are dedicated to this lifestyle and makes buddyslim a second home.  Those people, for the exception of a few, I stick with because I am a dedicated and loyal friend.

Whew!!! What a mouthful!  You don’t have to agree with me.  But if you do say anything negative, I’m deleting.  My journal - it’s all about support for me!  As I do yours!  Honestly, if you don’t like me or don’t care to get to know me, then don’t expect for me to do the same.  This is my thoughts and my thoughts only.

Monday night - it’s all about my crew for kickboxing and yoga!!!!!!!!!! WHOO HOO!!

Oh, and for those who wants to see pics from Rod’s B-day at V20: It was very hot! LITERALLY!!!

Last night I challenged Tina to do a walk and I was to do my set class which is a weight and cardio hour of fun.  I’m PMSing bad and everything irritated me - especially Rodney! LOL

I missed class and after ranting in the wildcat forum decided with Kerstin’s help to go swim and let it all out.  Well, lo and behold 20 minutes into my swim 5 kids and their parents decides to join - which kills my lap run.  I left, picked up the now found jump rope and went in the backyard and vented away.  And Kerstin - I did all 100 regular push-ups because I need to get my push-ups in if I didn’t do my weights.  Well 100 is no where near my 430 which is my best in a day but it’s a start back.  I didn’t skim on them girl - did them all with perfect form - just want I need to get back in my game.  ;)  Oh and got get it done with the right form.  No sagging mid section or girl or modified push-ups!

What I love about my jump rope - it has a clock and a counter.  The clock stops when I stop - very accurate.  I did a full 6 minutes which is not easy when I haven’t done it in years.  YAY!  It’s cheap lie $17 at a sports store.

Anyhow, I already told Rod today I’m going to both Kickboxing and Pilates.  No if’s and’s and I won’t feel guilty about my JIM TIME! :)  I need to do this for me!

As we were chillin’ last night he showed me a pick of this pretty Black girl with a cute butt - and we know Rod is a butt man; didn’t I tell you he buried my big butt - gave it a big funeral and all?  HEHE  Well, turns out she had butt implants!  Now I’ve seen it happen before, but this girl is beautiful with a cute bootay already - what’s the point of adding more?

Well, Mr. Rod who thinks breasts should be NATURAL - WAS FINE WITH A BUTT IMPLANT!  Go figure!  Whatever floats your boat I guess.  I just think butt implants, is a bit extreme but hey to each his own.

I sure won’t do it - oh no!  But I would mind getting my calves shaven off.  I hate my big calves.  It’s all blah!!!!

Like I said, whatever - to each her/his own.  Whatever makes you happy go for it!

LOL I can’t remember how many nights I fought but it’s over 21 nights now. .. no night time eating  not one morsel.  I’ve had temptation thrown in my face and I defeated each and every time.

Monday night was a good night.  I got home from the gym after an hour of hardcore kickboxing but skipped yoga, ate a yummy Khmer beef and celery sour soup with rice and took off to the movie for movie night.  We saw District 9…..ummm not for the faint of heart.  I snacked on Pumpkin seeds and ate just 1/3 of  the bag.  Oh had my fave some ice coffee.  Yummy.  In the past  I come home and eat!  But last night I came home, drank some water and went to bed.  Well, if I ate, I owe Rod $100 and why would I want to do that!

The saying is true, give yourself 3+ weeks to create a new habit.  It will stick, just don’t give up.

Tonight I’m going to Pilates and my first weight class in what seem like months!

I’ve decided recently, yesterday that I’m taking another step in self preservation.  If I have nothing nice to say, I’m not going to say it at all.  If something bothers me, I’m going to honest, not talk behind that person’s back - let them know exactly how I feel and respect that person enough to let it be.  I can not make anyone see something they fail to see.  I’m not captain save a ho’……the only person I can save is me. 

We all make choices, whatever decision I make I stand by it.  BUT I know that if 997 PEOPLE OUT OF 1000 sings the same song, aka - don’t write to the ex NANCY,not a good idea…….I take it and applied it to life. THANK YOU - I decided to let it be and let by gone be by gone.  I guess that is something that makes me different now.  I’m more then willing to take criticism and apply it to my life.  Does it hurt a bit?  Of course!!!!! But if I ask for advice, I better be able to deal and take it like a big girl!  What’s  the point of seeking advice from your peers if you have no intention of doing anything with it?  I won’t be a hypocrite!!!!!  I asked for help, I received it and I applied it.  

That’s why if someone bullsh** with me,  I refuse to indulge in it.  Self pity - I’m trying to get past my self pity days.  I’m done.  I just want to take action and keep pushing to the next venture, next obstacle - tackle that bullshi* and keep on going.  Life is not always beautiful but each of us is in charge of our happiness!  

I REFUSE TO BE A VICTIM YESTERDAY, TODAY OR TOMORROW!!  I did it in the past but no more!!!  I REFUSE TO BE A VICTIM ON THIS JOURNEY AND LIFE!  Too much time is spent playing woe is me games.  I have zero time to waste on my self pity.  I wipe my tears and keep fighting back!   A victim’s role is an easy role, a fighter’s role that’s hard because the chance of failing is very high.  I take 5 days of failure to one day of being a victim.  I’m done with it.  If it makes me seem harsh - oh well, it’s my life and I hold myself accountable for every action I make.  I won’t blame other’s for my shortcomings!  It’s not Rodney’s fault, not my mom’s but my own.  I’m a grown woman - why would I blame others for what I decide to do?  NO - I refuse to be a victim!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh WILDFIRE - she took control of me but I’m not going to delete this blog.  Gotta let it stand for what it is. 

Ahhhhhhhhh the exercise orgasm - the high that comes with a great workout!

THE I MISS YOU NANCY?  Where the heck were you?  Your spot was empty Nancy!  It wasn’t the same without you!  Just about all the regulars wanted to know what the heck happened to me the last few sessions.

It is nice to be loved!!!  I feel stronger and leaner then ever.  And the OH MY GOSH - did you lose some weight Was NICE!

I bask in the glory of being missed!  :)  Well, it’s nice to know my space was lonely and calling my name.  I’m very territorial and in kickboxing you have to be.

I don’t want to start a facebook account right now but they all asked me to join so we can “coordinate” our work out clothes color.  LOL

Can you tell I’m on an exercise and happy high?  SIGH the joy of a great class with my IDOL!!!  NYGEL! You are the best!

Night 15 = going strong I made it again last night!

I’m happy happy! Had a great class and I’m glad my friends misses me, my instructor misses me and I missed them.  As it is my journal I want to say hell yah - it’s good to have some good love!

10 nights   =  0 night time eating

Snack = 2 per day       I WIN!

I LOST  ONE  TWO MORE LB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Total of  5 6 lbs downs this week!! WHOO HOOOOO!  My Rod is magical! :)    I just need to hang on to the 5 and 1 more would be nice for Friday.  This would be my first contribution to the WILDCATS losing number in a long long long long time!

OK Wednesday night Nygel was MIA and I didn’t have my phone to text her.   A lot of us were not happy to see a sub.  She cool but not what I like.  I’m more athletic and you know what I have to take it there.  And I modified out all the jumps and went easy on my right side.  Got a good sweat.

I saw my Pilates instructor and asked her if she has a lot of hip related core exercise for us and she said yes.  Oh, she was just happy to see me - miss her too! She suggested seeing another doctor.  I agree.  I told her there is no point aggravating it with core exercises.  I came home instead.

As soon as I walk in the door I wanted to eat but I stopped myself.  I ate a nice snack of rice, fish and banana before class so no need for food so soon after one hr of kickboxing.

I’m going to make an appt for next week to see another doctor because my Pilates instructor said a side pain around the hip indicates back issues or other issues.  As I’m not good with self diagnosis I need to have this looked at.

ANY SUGGESTIONS ON WHAT TYPE OF DOCTOR TO MAKE AN APPT WITH?  General, Physical Therapy…..?????? HELP!  The Urgent Care doctor was good for my other issue but not this.  I need a doctor appt that I won’t waste money on.  I want to spend my co-pay money wisely.  I don’t have a regular doctor because I was a former Kaiser patient but now I have Blue Cross with my new company.

Until I see this said doctor, I will go light on cardio.  Just modified kickboxing like Wednesday, weights upper body only and eating light like I have.

I’ve been having a lot of womanly pain and side pain.   I think it’s all related.  My problem is my PPO plan has a $40 co-pay and a $500 deductible.  OH WELL!!! I just have to pay it on Friday so I can see a doctor.  Rod is taking really good care of me.  Yesterday with the whole food poisoning thing, he was there to help me throw up and just held me when I was crying in pain.  Not even sure if it’s food poisoning anymore.  I wish my company had a better insurance plan but what can I do but work with what I have AND BE GRATEFUL I have insurance.

First Day of Rod’s $100 if you fu** up challenge

I didn’t eat Saturday or Sunday night.  YAY YAY!!!  First time in a long time two nights in a row.

I managed to outsmart Rodney and also modify my eating from 3 full meals, 3 snacks and grazing to:

3 full, 300 to 500 breakfast, lunch and dinner with a snack of banana and milk; and a final snack dried salted mud fish, an Asian specialty with some rice.

I’ve managed to get the right portion of protein, carbs, fiber (well can work on fiber) and veggies in.  I just didn’t eat enough fruit for my taste today.

Today will be a lot easier at work.  I just can’t graze anymore.  I’ll eat multiple fruits with my breakfast and not eat lunch until 1 pm.  Then a full pack lunch and my snack will be my energy bar for kickboxing and yoga.

My evaluation, I can’t do 3 meals and no snacks - that’s too harsh for me.  I would be the angriest woman in that office.  Gotta have my snacks.

So it’s a fun JIM date with Nygel for kickboxing and Power yoga.

Hahaha!  I just went food shopping today.  You know, I got the best customer service from the men today.  Do you think it has anything to do withy my bootaay shorts?  LOL

As I was coming out of the store I notice my shadow - HOLY CRUD - MY SHADOW JIGGLED WITH MY COTTAGE CHEESE THIGHS!  I thought it was hilarious.

Rod and I finally had a talk about the other night.  He was soooo angry with me because he said it took something like that for me to realize how unsafe it is to be out there in the streets.  Even for a simple walk.  His biggest fear always was my ex-huband seeing me and confronting me.  Even worse was a stranger trying to do who knows what was going thru his head.   He said, when he heard what happened, he was ready to jump in the car to go get me but when I told him everything was ok, he just got really mad.  Mad at himself, mad at me - thus the fuel for our fight.

We are good now.  Hey, nothing better then make-up sex right? hehe

Yesterday’s kickboxing and hip hop class was the shi*!!!!  It took 5 class, about 5 hrs for me to start pulling out of shyness shell and really enjoying hip hop.  I am starting to fall in love with it the way I do with my kickboxing, yoga, pilates and bootcamp stuff that I do.

Today I was suppose to get back to my weight conditioning program but I decided to post poned it for another fun kickboxing class.  I went to a gym I haven’t been to for like 2 yrs.  The instructor was a good one.  I had a ton of fun.  She loved me and told me I should become an instructor.  My answer - I like being a participant.

Well, Blaithin, no more running or walking outside for me.  Those days are over.  I can only do it if someone is with me.  We just feel that living in this city it’s too dangerous to be out in the streets.  It’s not safe anymore.  Everything I do is at the gym or the beach if Rod goes with me.

Tomorrow I have a Step and Yoga class to attend.  I can’t wait.

Well, better catch up with you fine buddies today!

This is starting to worry me and I just don’t know enough about the BLOG dashboard to figure it out. Somehow, someone is linking my blogs to other sites. Who’s doing it and how can I stop them from doing it? My blogs are intended for this site and this site only. I feel my privacy is invaded by this site. Anyone knows enough about blogs, blogrolls, blog options to help me out?

http://technorati.com/blogs/khmerbeauty.buddyslim.com?reactions

I’m at an all time low and I will say it’s all hormonal, the heat factor and just feeling like a big fat bloat. Been feeling bloated this last month. I had maybe one day where I felt skinny. How sick is that? LOL

I’ve been whining and complaining to Rodney about it and he’s being very supportive. I think he knows if he doesn’t support he will get no bootay.

I’m trying to pull myself out of this head funk. I know it’s my womanly hormones just raging away. Honestly, I don’t like the feeling. I want to feel “normal” although what is normal right? LOL

Well, everything and anything is annoying me. I just want this day over with so I can go to the gym and work out my pent up frustrations. Just tired of everything in life……well - hopefully tomorrow I come back with a kick a$$ attitude.

But right now I feel like a 1 on a scale of 1 to 10.

I just text my workout idol/instructor told her I need my kickboxing fix tonight to get rid of this nasty feeling. She said bring it she’ll take care of it.

My honey is the best is he not?

Wanna hear how broke we are?

We so broke we have less then $2.00 in the checking account. Remember, Rod’s been dining on cup of noodles, peanut butter sandwiches, croissants and muffins. Instead of Gatorade he drinks water with lemonade mixes. He’s been a great trooper.

I get a direct deposit but we don’t know what time it hits our account.

My baby after the gym was starving and he wants to eat something big. Well, without money we decided to wait till 1am - hoping there is money in there. 1am comes I’m dead tired I want to sleep. He wakes me up - check the acct please, no money.

I fall asleep.

Tap tap honey….it’s 2am check please….. NO MONEY!!

2:30am honey - can you help me share this file from photobucket? I look at him like urrrrrr trying to SLEEP!!!!

I gave up and just fell into bed. Then I feel him on top of me - HONEY, DO YOU WANT A BIG OR SMALL WEDDING? WTH????????????

WHAT WEDDING? Our wedding? HUH?

At 2:30am - I actually don’t care what size the wedding is I just want to sleep. Now, what man in his right mind would ask a question to a growling, tired, sleep deprived, woman that question?

Then I’m hungry!! LOL

3am hits - I get up to check our acct - BINGO CHHHHAAA CHING..

ROD, BABY….GET UP - GO GET SOME FOOD NOW…..ROD ROD????? ROD???

“I’m tired”!!!

Men oh men!!!

I love him though!!

Yes - go ahead and laugh!!

I decided to privatize my letter to Stephanie. It was good to let it out.

Today KICKBOXING AND PILATES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!