Baby mama drama or jealousy? Green eyed monster makes me a very ugly person. :(
Been thinking a lot about things. Just issues that I’m dealing with. A lot of it economical - money, big factor. Living from paycheck to paycheck is taking a toll. Rod did get that modeling thing but we decided to walk away from it. That agency is not for us. It’s hard to make it financially on one income. I struggle all the time. I try to save money and a I do a decent job; just a little something for myself - even if it’s $20 a paycheck, it’s mine and I’m not touching it.
Other factors that’s been coming into play. Rod’s second son. They live in Texas and after all this time, the mother and Rod finally started communicating. She finally gave Rod his son’s address. He added her as a friend on myspace and Facebook. It’s been hard for me to deal with in all honesty. She’s been playing hard to get, gave him ultimatums, won’t let Rod talk to his son nor have contact with him - thus her moving them to Texas 6 years ago.
But I see myself getting more and more jealous of this other lady. I don’t know her truth be told. I do know she is with another man and has two kids with him. I saw her pictures and man, she’s changed a lot. The weight she’s gained makes her look like she’s in her 40’s. Well, that isn’t the issue.
The issue is how insecure I feel. I know Rod is only talking to her about their son - but see, with no children of my own, and after another month of disappointment, I feel like this girl has an upper hand on me. I can tell she feels attracted to Rod - base on what she writes to him. That worries me.
After all, they have a child together - that is one thing that bonds them together.
Well, enough about that!!!! This weekend I spent mainly with my family, my honey. Ate quite a bit Saturday and drinking. Today I had 2.5 croissants for breakfast and lunch. As I tell so many people, if weekends are hard - don’t fight it - join it! LOL Make it work for you. My weekends are free in terms of food and calorie counting - those two things don’t exist. And no exercise either. I plan to get a lot done next week. Two days rest is completely needed.
“Make it work for you”–love it!
I can’t relate to the baby-mama sitch, but I’m betting your feelings are totally normal, and you’re coping with them as best you can! Do you talk about the extent of your worries with Rod, or would that be an issue if you did…? ((Nancy))
I have not told him about my jealousy issues - yet - because I don’t want to seem childish you know. Like, why not focus on him and his son versus me and the mom?
I can’t relate either, I have no advice. Sorry
I hope someone does…
I think I am a jealous person too…though so I can relate to that. And insecurity. But I think that a person has to have more than just a child to connect them…idk
Nancy, I personally don’t have experience with what you are dealing with, but my son is only 22 and has to deal with his wife’s exhusband and his stupidity. There are 3 little girls involved and I know my son deals with jealousy issues. My advise to him has been to continue loving his wife the way he has and to stay positive. May not be helpful to you, but I wish you much peace. luv ya!
Nancy, I have been thru this. It is hard. But the best thing i think to do is think of his son. That is very important to him and if you show jealousy, it will drive a wedge. I don’t think you have anything to worry about, Rod loves YOU. But the love of his son is important too. Just be as supportive as you can. Sounds like this woman has some real issues, and it will bite her in the butt eventually.
Love you much, I hope to get to the point where I can eat like you do on the weekends!
Have a great Monday.
I have a child with my ex, and if its any help I would NEVER EVER go back with him. I honestly can’t stand him, and if we didn’t have Allyssa I would never talk to him again. We are ex’s for a reason, and I wouldn’t want to be back in that place. I am so happy with the man I am with, and it sounds like you and Rod are very happy together.
I have a child with my ex, and if its any help I would NEVER EVER go back with him. I honestly can’t stand him, and if we didn’t have Allyssa I would never talk to him again. We are ex’s for a reason, and I wouldn’t want to be back in that place. I am so happy with the man I am with, and it sounds like you and Rod are very happy together.
Take it one day at a time. Support your boyfriend through this. He needs you right now.
Your feelings are totally natural. I would have questions too, as to why the sudden connection. I don’t know how old his son is, but if the son is old enough to have his own myspace page, then he should have the son’s page not hers. Another thing, why does she even have to be a friend on his facebook and myspace? If she needs to call or talk to him, she needs to send him an email. I understand she is seeing someone else and have kids with him, but relationships take work and who knows, Maybe there relationship ain’t all that good right now. I’m not trying to make you worry more because it is obvious that Rod is really into what you two have. What I would suggest, is to support him and remember the baby mama don’t have anything on you. She may be attractive to him, but is he attracted to her?
Honestly, won’t be supprise if he doesn’t have a little hatred towards her. She has denied him his son and thats time, he could never get back. Chances are, she’s trying to get on his good side to ask for money. She may put the kid up to it. but, Girl, your sweetheart isn’t going anywhere. Try not to worry your head.
Hey sweetheart. I am just signing on to leave a message.. first Igot to tell you I am watching Amazing Race and they are in Cambodia. Made me think of you…
Second. I would imagine the jelousy thing is normal. It is how we deal with it that sets s apart. Suppolrt him in the decision to bein contact with his son. Maybe even explain how you feel about it. I am sure he understands it. I would think it is a normal feeling. And the lady.. well they are ex’s for a reason. I understand you though I would be very jealous and could not handle it. But you I Know you will handle it .. You can do anything
Oh just wanted to let you know.. It was nice talking to you today. It has been what a week or so so I really missed our tele convos..
From all your past blogs I would say you have nothing to worry about.Whatever this woman’s reasons or motives are for being in contact now, the only intentions that matter are Rods and clearly he’s chosen you.
Jealousy is normal… just don’t let it control you. Trust Rod and see how much more it will make him appreciate you. Hope that helps! 
I think all the advice has been given.. i’ve not been in this situation, so not gonna try, but had to show you some love! See you soon!!!!!!
i am a single divorced mom with two kids, my bf has two kids that lives with his ex wife, he seems them weekly and so he does her,i know she has asked him back and he has told her no before we started dating and while i was jealous of this i seen after a while i had no need to be as far as dealing with it its hard, but its the way i feel for my ex husband we was married ten years, i care for him as the father of my kids but nothing else.. if he wants to be apart of his sons life support that all u can but do tell him how u feel i think anyways because im sure he can since it anyways
I have an ex whom I have a child with. I don’t give him drama. I do expect child support and visitation. I expect him to be in our child’s life. That we will always have. He is a good father.
It’s so great that you recognize how you’re feeling (the jealousy and such). So many people just get a hint of an emotion and act on it. That tends to just make things worse. I can see why you wouldn’t want to say anything to Rod right now, but don’t let it eat you up inside either. You two are a team now. Hang in there!
Jealousy can get the best of a person. Been there, done that. I’m sure most of us have. The important thing is just to focus on how much Rod loves YOU and how much you love him. Easier said than done, but you can do it.
Jealousy with “the other mother” is common. I am not speaking of it first hand but can tell you that I have a half brother and my mom is to this day still jealous of his mom. AND MY MOM AND DAD HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR ALMOST 40 YEARS!!!! I guess you just learn to deal with it and try and keep the kids best interest in mind. I think that you should maybe tell him how you feel. Him telling you that you have nothing to worry about might help!!!
((((Nancy))))
First you are an amazing woman and you will be blessed with a child.
Second Rod loves YOU!! I can not imagine how difficult it must be dealing with the Ex. I hope you are able to find some peace in the situation and be happy that Rod is able to communicate with his son again. And if she was the one for him they wouldn’t have broken up and she wouldn’t have moved to Texas.
I don’t have any advice. Do the best you can. You two have a good relationship. That is all that matters. Good luck.
Jealousy sucks! Been there…oh, I hate that emotion!!! I’m gonna have to agree with Upendrah007….not sure why she has to have him as a friend on myspace/facebook. That would not make me comfortable at all. Not saying there is anything shadey about it..I just wouldn’t like that. If his son has a page then they could be friends like that.
You hang in there though..I know Rod loves you…adores you. The time just hasn’t been right yet for you guys & a little baby love. It will happen.
Glad you had a good weekend otherwise. Enjoy your week. Remember…you are a beautiful, confident & strong woman!!!!!
Hugs!!!
That’s tough the way Rod and this lady have to communicate now so he can start to build a relationship with his son. But you know how Rod feels about you. He is devoted to you. You have no worries there.
And I love the way you look at your weekends. We stress out so much about these 2 little days. When we work so hard Monday to Friday we should be able to relax a LITTLE at the weekend (not full on binge… but just relax a bit!)
Just be supportive to him and his son until you see her using the son to hurt you or cause problems then i step up and do something, He loves you he is with you . . . My daughter has had trouble starting a family she wants a baby so bad, she is a young bride 21 but already wants to have a baby . . . Her husband has a son and its hard on her as well . . . all the drama ! Hang in there girl, you got it going on !
Oh Nancy, I don’t think I would have the patience and understanding you do… I would be awful in this situation (Isn’t that horrible?) I hope he makes it clear that they are only communicating for his son and that he is extremely happy with you. Everything should work itself out.
I wish I had some Advice But This one I have not dealt with yet. But I not really feel you have anything to worry about But can definatly understand how you feel. I hope everything works out
have a great day
Nancy…keep your head up girl!!! Stay positive, and I hope everything works out!!!! Have a FABULOUS WEEK girl!!
nancy i am sorry your going through this. But honey you are beautiful and he knows what he has at home with you. There is a reason they are not together any more!! He does not have to wonder if the grass in greener on the other side because he has already been over there(with her) and obviously that grass is not green at all!! keep your head up and be there supporting him on getting to see his son again. Being a mother i could not even imagine not seeing my child so im sure he is so excited!
Hi Nancy, dealing with the “baby mama” can be difficult, especially when there is manipulation and drama involved. She is not thinking of their son if she has restricted Rod’s time with their child.
What exactly do you feel insecure about? Their connection because of a child? That Rod may still want to be with her? (Doubtful)
I don’t know what she writes to Rod, but it may be a good idea for Rod to lay some boundaries very clearly about what is acceptable and what is not to her, and specifically define their relationship as for their son only.
Look in the mirror, you are beautiful! Beside the obvious outer beauty….your beauty extends from your sharing of yourself to myself and others. Have confidence and see yourself as we all see you.
MJ, I’m insecure with myself - my inability to conceive. I’m scared that I won’t get his attention the way I am now if he starts leaving town to see his son. I’m scared that she might try to destroy my relationship…..all stupid fears really.
I do know 2 yrs of my time with Rod has been good and besides his other son, it’s been pretty much me and him.
Honestly, I’m not a fan of change and I see change coming.
Nancy my dear, you are really so sweet! I have a myspace..and yes my ex is a friend. We are friends but that is it. lol I just look at the pictures that he posts, the ones he draws. He is very naturally talented! I even got to look at the pictures of his new wife and their wedding. That only stung because I wish my boyfriend would marry me, but he won’t. lol He is a jerk! lol jk I think wanting what we don’t have makes us jealous, but you have Rod! He loves you. I bet he even has your picture on myspace. She is probably jealous of you because you are thin and pretty!
well first off… have you told Rod this?
And secondly… even if she may be wanting to get back with him that doesn’t mean that he wants to get back with her. I’m sure he is very happy with you
Sorry hon, got no advice - just remember he IS with you. Just sending some love…
I agree..your feelings are normal. I also agree that ex’s are ex’s for a good reason. Yes she is dangling his son over him like a carrot BUT he is with you. Now if he suddenly becomes secretive and isnt sharing whats going on, I would talk to him.
Love you too and thank you for helping me
We already talked about this so you know I don’t have any good advice. Just wanted to show some love.
This is unrelated but I think you and rod would make a cute little baby!