I could have been kidnapped & this is how he reacts????
What do I want to follow a long hard day at work? Bulshi*!
When I got home at 5pm, I told Rodney that I need him to save me a spot in the front of our building for the car. I told him I’ll be leaving at 6. I proceeded to play on the computer a bit then took a small nap. Around 5:30 or so he took off and didn’t say one word to me.
I got up, dressed and took off at 6pm. When I left I called him - to ask him to please save me a spot. No response.
I had a great kickboxing with my friend Angela who was subbing for someone else. Class ended and I went home around 7:30pm.
When I rounded the corner to my complex, to my disappointment, no spot for me. I wondered what happened? I had a sick feeling in my stomach like something didn’t feel right.
I found a spot about 1/2 a mile from my apt. Parked and got out. As soon as I got out from the corner of my eyes I see a black SUV zip into the parking lot adjacent to where I parked. As I started to walk, I heard someone call to me. I thought he was a lost driver who may need direction so I turned and answered.
He asked me if I was “Lisa” and of course I said no. Then he started moving the car forward towards me - he says “You’re beautiful” and I just ignored him and proceeded to call Rodney. As I was on the phone with him the guy made a u-turn and back into he parking and followed me as I walked on the sidewalk towards home. I was nervous and I told Rodney everything that was happening. I stopped and looked - he stopped in the parking lot watching me. So I quickened my step and came home.
When I got home I tried to find out from Rodney what happened? How come he didn’t save me a spot? He said - you didn’t go looking for me. I said, but how did I know where he went? He never told me one word where he went.
His argument is that - he was in the back cleaning out the Lexus. I was Toooooo lazy to take my lazy butt back there to look for him. I said - this is not the first time you up and leave without telling me. HOW AM I suppose to KNOW to look for him? I never did that before why would I do it today?
I told him, you know I could have been taken by this middle aged man who was twice my size and you wouldn’t know it.
I don’t know if he didn’t hear that part or what the problem was.
To him, his point is - I never communicated or went “looking” for him to save me a spot.
I said, this is not the first time we’ve talked about this. I said - I did tell you I was leaving at 6pm, you weren’t here.
Of course we started arguing. I was upset because I know full well I told him up front that I was leaving, when I was leaving and to save me a spot.
His point of view is, I didn’t go looking for him to tell him I was leaving.
I said to him, so, once you saw the car is gone, why did you not proceed to save me a spot? He said, I “didn’t tell him”.
When I was in the shower, I thought about all the what if…what if that guy continued to follow me, grab me and took off? What if I didn’t react fast enough? What if I wasn’t smart enough to get on the phone with Rod?
When I got out of the shower, I explained all of this to him. I apologize for my anger. But I told him, most of it stemmed from me realizing that I could have been kidnapped.
You know, he acted indifferent! He said, oh well, it’s your problem. I don’t care.
Now, I’m very upset as I write this. I just want it off my chest. I have never in my life felt threatened by a stranger. Ever.
And I knew - my instinct told me something wasn’t right about this evening.
It hurts me that he is acting so cold towards me. It hurts that he continues to act like he don’t care.
Of course it hurts even more that I did try to communicate and this is how it turns out.
Honestly, I don’t want to see him right now. I was soooo angry I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs!
Rodney usually turns into a cold hearted a$$ when we argue. Today, I refuse to back down. If I did not ask him at some point to save me a spot I would not be so upset - but I did, and he knows full well.
The second part to this is that my safety was in jeopardy, and the outcome could have been worse. Yet, why is he acting like he don’t care? Is he doing that because we were arguing?
Right now, I actually don’t care. I just want to tell him fuc* you! Take your shi* and leave!!!!
I’m tired of everything!!
=( I don’t know what to say about Rodney’s behavior/reaction, but if you feel unsafe (as you should have, what a scary situation!), you should get a taser. I used to live in a fairly unsavory apartment complex that didn’t have close parking and the taser really made me feel safer. You don’t have to take a class or get a license to own one if they don’t actually shoot out anything. It’s not a guarantee of safety, but it’s a fighting chance.
There is nothing worse then not feeling safe. I have gotten into it with my husband about him not going with me on walks and how I could get stolen. I don’t think they understand the fear we feel as women. It happens ALL the time. We have to think about stuff like that and they never have to….
Sorry
I understand how you feel. There are SO many creeps out there. You know he would be torn apart if anything would happen to you…
creEepy… weirdos like that are the reason i ALWAYS have weapons on me… i’m VERY glad he didn’t try anything
as for Rod’s response… WOW!!! not cool… maybe he feigned indifference because he was upset… he may actually be quite shaken and he’s hiding it! or not… pfffft…. i dunno…
Guys, I don’t know…..I’m just upset at this moment and being here is helping ease the tension.
Basically, Rodney is acting like an asshole. He shuts me out by putting on the earphones. I left and was in the living room to avoid him and getting into an even more heated argument. Then he left, like right now. I don’t care where he goes.
His reaction today just pissed me off. I communicated - this I know. He just wants to wash that away, with me not “seeking him out to tell him to save a spot for me”.
You know, I don’t feel like waiting until tomorrow to hear him admit he didn’t listen to me tell him that I needed his help. I don’t feel like say sorry anymore.
Honestly, I’m tired of bending, changing, morphing just to please everyone!
What makes it worse is as I’m sitting in the living room trying to blog, my mother,AFTER I EXPLAINED TO HER WHAT HAPPENED, thinks it’s people who found Rodney’s car and trying to impound it! WTF? Seriously - none of the people in my family has a brain cell!
Yes - I’m mad! And it’s better that I vent then to break things out of frustration!
one time when i was little …someone almost kidnapped me in front of church!!! so now i carry my pepper spray…and a knife. i live alone…and get out of work at 9 from the mall…so i take no chances!!!! and i will hurt someone!!!!!
hmmm…okay…this is weird for me to understand because at 6 here its not dark and i would never actually have to park half a mile from my house and if i did ive actually never felt that way about my safety ever…i think i must live in a really safe town haha…i dunno…like everyone in my family worries that i deliver pizzas as a woman because they think i will get robbed because i deliver to our downtown area which is the worst area here and all…but anyways…im just saying i have never thought of me being a girl as a weakness of any sort…ive alwasy felt like im equal…even tho i know im not because i know if a strong man were to try and take me i wouldnt be strong enough to get away from him…but i would at least be smarter than him haha!
ok wow im rambling…my whole point was i know you want to be mad at rod and everything but if something were to happen to you…which it didnt so just be thankful…then you cant blame it on him….although i know its easy to do…i think that you should just be happy nothing did happen….and maybe hes being insensitive because you are talking about what ifs instead of what actually did happen…nothing happened to you so maybe thats what hes thinking…i dunno….blah…but yay for you being safe and home…and my boyfriend also turns into a coldhearted ass when we argue…it sucks…but now im just like wahetever…he can talk to me when he wants to ya know
You can tell I’m hot.
This is more for me then anyone:
Another thing is a few months ago we made an agreement. Since I have his mom’s car and parking is limited. He will do his best to save me a spot every day. Especially on days I go to the gym in the evening. It’s not safe to walk around here. He’s the one who made this a focal point.
Why would tonight be any different from any other night?
I believe that he can’t admit that he made a mistake. That he knew I went to the gym and did not put the effort in to do something we both agreed on.
At first it was about the safety of his mom’s car.
But tonight, his mom’s car is not as important as my safety.
So tonight, I am going to say, you know, he did not act in good faith and do what we agreed on.
Why must I continually repeat myself? Would that not make me a nag? Something he and most men don’t like about women?
It’s 7:30 Arli when I came. This is a town of 95,000+ people. Anything can happen at any time of the day.
I’m not saying I’m weak, and I’m not. What worries me is that I never thought about my safety until this situation.
My problem with Rodney is that we work hard on communication - and tonight it failed. I tried to talk to him but he was too busy being right to hear what I was trying to say.
What happened with that SUV, that’s my personal issue. I just never thought anything can ever happen to me - until tonight.
Nancy remember a couple of weeks ago how I wrote that blog about a man who approached me outside of the gym early in the morning? I highly advise you get a taser or some other form of protection. I can’t even stress it enough how important it is to look out for your own safety. Remember, no neighborhood is as safe as anyone thinks (not that you think yours is safe). I think you are so shook up and have so much anger right now that talking to Rod at this point might not be a good idea. Maybe sleep on it and talk to him when both of your heads are clearer. I care about your saftey!
glad u got home safe! he did react kind of cold, but vent away ,hope u feel better tomorrow!
MEN! Basically every guy I’ve ever known acts indifferent when I have an argument with them…bf, friends, dad, brother. I guess it is just their defense mechanism. Maybe he’ll realize later what could have happened to you. I hope so!
Be safe!! You are a strong woman, but unfortunately there will always be men who want to take advantage of our weaknesses :/ It sounds like you’ve had a pretty rough week, I’ll be thinking good thoughts for you!
so are you saying at any time of day you cant walk around outside? yikes!!! thats insane!
Why do guys do that? Jeez, Nancy you could have not only been kidnapped or worse!!! so glad you are ok!!
You are totally in the right. I even ask my hubby to read over it and said that it was his fault not yours. So it isn’t a guy thing. I am glad you are okay though and i hope you guys work things out. Hang in there and cool down,
Oh my dear sweet friend… You are so right to be upset with the situation and with Rod… My husband did the same thing today with a money situation and refused to listen to reason because he didn’t want to admit fault… So when he came home from work I said nothing to him and he said nothing to me… I prayed for me and him… And tomorrow will be a new day… And I hope that prayers are answered (for him to hear when It’s important to me) we have pretty much grown up together (20 years) So honey I hear you, I validate your frustation, and I pray for a sunny day tomorrow. My grandma would always tell me when I was going through it… The rainbow always comes out after the rain… Nancy look for the rainbow… (which is Gods promise)
Nancy - Hes a man therefore he cannot admit to making a mistake. If you call him on it he will disappear into his man-cave and withdraw
Dont sweat it - you know what it’s like. You get all stressed out and then they come to you later with “really sorry babe I was worried about X, y and Z” - and its something that shows you that actually - they really DO care and you feel like a total heel
- Or at least - thats what always happens to me!!
Shelli X
Shelli said it right Nancy. Take a few breathes, slow MOOOOOSSSSSAAAAA
and do you. He will eventually come around. Men are the worse whe it comes to their pride. But I know my little 5′2 DIVA is a fiesty one too 
!!!!
You guys will be okay. I just got into a fight with my bf last night, woke up to flowers on the bed to say “I am sorry for being an A%S Hole”. Therefore, if my man can do it, I know Rodney will definitely say he is sorry very soon.
I am so glad you are okay. With your guy, hopefully he will come around, sometimes its easier to act like you don’t care than to admit you were wrong. Without really knowing your guy or your relationship, all I do know is we all deserve someone who cares for us and our feelings. I hope things get better for you guys soon.
Rolling my eyes at Rodney! Good Lord, the lengths a man will go to, to keep from having to admit a mistake and apologize.
If I were you, I would DEFINITELY carry some form of personal protection!! You are TINY, and cute with a nice figure, which might make you a target for weirdos. I don’t really know how those creeps think, but still….
You know I wasn’t able to renew my gym membership due to financial constraints, so I’ve been working out at home and doing my jogs outside. I go out early in the mornings, usually from about 5:45 to 6:30, and make my husband sit outside and watch me jog up and down our street. It’s just not safe to run all around this neighborhood, and even right here in front of my own house, I don’t know who might drive up and down this street, and I feel SO MUCH SAFER just knowing he’s watching. Granted, he’d rather be sitting in front of the TV in his underwear watching the news at that hour, so I give him credit for sitting there watching me jog back and forth. It probably sucks, but he does it anyway to make me feel safe. (He thinks I should just carry a gun. lmao While jogging!)
Anyway, my point is that my husband is an all-around general A-hole most of the time, and yet he’s still infinitely concerned about my safety. This makes me think that Rodney *IS* a lot more concerned about your safety than what he’s shown, and maybe his reaction is a version of some sort of personal crisis he has to deal with. Like, maybe he totally freaked out on the inside, and so he just “shut it down” on the outside so he could deal with it. I don’t know….
But good luck girl! And for crying out loud, BE SAFE!!! Does that gym offer one of those self-defense classes? It’s always good to practice kneeing a strange man in the groin before you actually NEED to do it!
Loves ya girlie!!
Hugs Nancy I am so glad you are safe.
First let me say, thank God you are safe. And second let me say to all those who keep saying as an excuse for Rod’s behavior “that he’s a man” FUCK THAT, we need to stop making excusing for him, maybe he’s this maybe he’s that. He behaved the way he did because he’s him, Rod and nothing more or less, not because he’s a man.
He is being a TOTAL asshole right now! You have every right to be pissed at him. If you asked him to leave the porch light on and he didnt the situation would be no different. He’s being an ass. I’m not going to give you advice on how to handle it directly because mine would result in physical harm, no LOL no bullshit.
You can get all the tasers, pepper spray, self defense classes in the world when it all comes down to it they wont change the situation between you and Rod.
Vent away. Scream if you have to. Cry if you need to. And when you get done then do what you will for the betterment of Nancy and Rodney.
My first comment didn’t post so I will type it again, it maybe do to all the curse words I had in it. So I will revise the lingo.
First let me say thank God you are safe. Secondly, in response to all those who have commented in regards to Rods behavior, that his is being an a$$hole because he is a man, FCUK THAT! He is being Rod and that has nothing to do with his gender its just who Rod is right now.
He is acting like a f*cking a$$hole right now and you have every right to be pissed. You could’ve asked him to leave the porch light on and he didn’t and it wouldn’t make the situation any different.
You can get all the tasers, pepper spray, self defense classes in the world and it would not have change the situation between you and Rod. The jerk in the truck…you can get those things to make you feel safe but the truth of it all you never know what could happen, with or without those things. So yeah, be pissed. I can’t even give you my advice right now because it results in physical harm being done, no LOL no bu!!shit.
Be angry. Keep venting away. Scream if you have to. Cry if you need to and when you’re done, do what you will for the betterment of Nancy and Rodney.
I think I said it all and probably added so more. Sorry you had to go through this.
i am glad you are ok and nothing happened to you. i dont know what i would do if you were missing!! yikes!!! lets not think about that anymore. ok….. i understand how you feel. my husband (being a police officer) will not let me go certain places alone. especially if it is dark. its like i am his child. but that is just the protector in him.
as for rod.. girl, you know we are not the only ones who have TOM… men are retarded and have their own version of TOM.. they may not have to wear a tamp.. but they act like they need one. i would be mad as a monster if i were you too. and there is no reason why you should apologize tho. girl please!!!
glad you are safe.
He Nancy, glad you are safe! I dont know you well enough to comment on Rodney, but did want to tell you that Im VERY glad you are ok!!!
I know it makes a difference with my husband in how I approach him when he’s done something that pisses me off. If I go at him accusing and yelling he shuts down no matter what. Like the time I asked him to watch our daughter who was about 1 at the time, I go to check on them 10-15 minutes later and he’s nowhere to be seen and she has a tiny pair of sharp scissors in one hand and a AA battery in the other… I flipped out. I screamed at him “how could you? what were you thinking?” that sort of thing and he shut down and I felt like he wasn’t at all concerned about her safety. Later when I was calmer I wrote him a letter explaining why I was angry and what I expected of him in the future and that I was sorry for screaming at him (because I did so in front of my parents). He responded to that. We were able to talk about it and the issue was resolved. My advice? Try putting your thoughts on paper and see how Rod responds. It’s worked for me, so it may work for you.
I’m really glad nothing happened to you!
Ouch, what a creepy experience. I think men just don’t get that sick feeling we women get when we feel threatened. I can get cold feet even if I am just walking to the train station and it’s not light out yet in the morning, and there is nobody around. If someone was actually following me, I’d probably loose it!
I hope you sort through this incedent, Nancy, and shake all the bad feelings.
Oh geez! I agree…carry some form of protection, wether it be a taser or pepper spray. Maybe take a self defense class? Rod could have been more sensitive, but I think maybe he thinks its no big deal becuase you are ok? MEN…….
Aww, Nancy. That is VERY scary. I had something happen one time in college where I was with two friends (one male and one female) and it was late and the guy friend was walking us to our car in an apt complex and they went on one side of a van that was parked and I went on the other and there was a guy hiding with a friggin KNIFE ! on my side ! It was so scary but thank goodness my friend was walking with us cause the knife guy ended up running off when he heard my guy friend call out to me. Talk about friggin scary ! I was so freaked out by it.. U kno, I didnt read what everyone else wrote but the “experts” actually say that we shouldnt get on our phones, they say it makes us MORE vulnerable… Hmmm. I dont think I agree. I am sorry Rod is being so insensitive. Does he think u r making it up or some shit for dramas sake? Grr ! I am glad u are safe !
I am so sorry you were scared, but sooo glad you are safe now. I hope you and Rod are able to work this out fast.
Man, sorry for that Nancy! Sad face at your situation. I’m glad you are safe tho. It’s some crazy’s out there! Sucks how Rod is reacting to all of this. You guys will work things out between you two, but you have the right to feel the way you do. Just my two cents. Hope you have a good weekend despite what you just went through.
AWWWWWWWWW HONEY!! I CANT BELIEVE HE WOULD ACT THIS WAY! WHAT A JERK!!! OBVIOUSLY THE GUY WAS CONTEMPLATING DOING SOMETHING CUZ HE WAS FOLLOWING YOU!
omg!!!!!!! im so sorry you had to go through this!! what an awful experience, and on top of that, how awful to not feel protected when you get back home.
sorry
Well, I think everyones given some great advice, so I will just say take a deep breath, and know that no matter how hard you work on communication, or a relationship, there are going to be moments where YOU screw up or HE will screw up…
Being able to make a mistake, learn from that, and continue on, is what builds the relationship…
Like they said above, sometimes, when I am feeling like that, its best to remove yourself from the situation. Calm down, THEN go back and discuss the events…Otehrwise, You both shut down and communication is not possible…
HOpe things are better today…
So sorry Nancy,
That would have been very scary.
Men just don’t look at things the same way.
I am glad you are ok though. Good instints!
I agree with a lot of what’s being said. I’d definately get a some type of protection.
Sounds like Rodney went into defense mode. Men want to be the tough protectors and when they either screw up or can’t protect us their manhood is in question and BOOM…instant assh*%^! He’ll realize he was a jerk and apologize or do something sweet.
So sorry you went through this
It is scary when anything like that happens… I’m sorry! And boo, Rodney, for his reaction! I think men do have a hard time admitting when they’re wrong, and also have a little bit of a hard time admitting that they care, even when they do. Hang in there, hon. He loves you, and obviously so do we! Glad you’re OK!
nancy THANK GOD YOU ARE OKAY…I most said that rodney should have been more understanding!!!I don’t know what the f***k arli is talkin about is she nut’s It don’t matter how strong she think she is… she could not take on a man!!!I know how you feel!!!And you are 100% right for being upset.I am mad just think about how you could have been hurt!!!As a man I know we can be supid at time but but me will come around,and I know Rodney will to!!!o and nancy get you a gun!!! people is crazy now and day!!!lol keep in touch ninja!!! be safe!!!
nancy, sorry u went thru such a big scare like that…..but remember when our gut feeling warns us never ignore that feeling….about Rod….i think he acted immature…..due to the argueing…..thank goodness you are ok….great tips in the forum….love ya miss ya
Oh my God Nancy, I would have freaked out if a guy followed me like that. I mean, seriously freaked out. And I probably would have lost it with Rodney as well…..
Deep breath now. Tomorrow it will seem a bit better hopefully when things calm down a bit and the shock of being followed like that is a bit less. It wont be completely gone, but it may be a bit better.
Sounds scary
This is why my mom doesn’t want me to go out walking…I am shocked that she hasn’t bought me things like MACE or some type of protection yet…
Stay safe, ok?
I wanna say something mean…cause men piss me off with their nonchalant attitudes…but I hope things have smoothed over & he realizes what an a$$ he was.
I’m glad you are safe