Khmerbeauty 1 Life 1 Destiny

We went to see Angels and Demons finally.  Ummmmmmmm that’s the wrong name for that movie.  It’s good, not as good as Terminator or Star Trek, but interesting.  Long though.  Be prepared to sit through a lot of drama.  Oh, again coffee wired me for the night/morning.

Today is my 2nd offical non-exercise day.  Well, you know how it goes, I won’t exercise but I am walking because I don’t like doing nothing in the morning.  Not to say walking isn’t exercise, but again, I don’t sweat like I do with my other workout routines.

Thus, got up to a beautiful cloudy and foggy morning which is the perfect condition for walking for me.  I started and never stopped.  I went two rounds yep, that’s 11miles total.  With my IPOD loaded with some great music I just walked and enjoyed everything mother nature gave to us.  I watched as my neighbors cleared their front yard,  others sets up for a yard sale.  I said hello to other walkers and joggers, waved high to bikers.  Life is good.

As I walked I thought about a lot things.  Especially this journey.   It’s such a harsh one.  One slip and I either fall or shake it off and keep on going.  In the past any little setback meant giving up.  Not this time.  I don’t care if I fall a million times, I will always get back up to fight.

Case in point, still fighting night time eating.  It’s something that I can’t conquer and win against for some reason, but I’m trying.  Certainly trying.

Also, I think to myself, WHY do I want this so bad?  To be healthy and fit?  Because somewhere someone doubted me - I DID.  I doubted myself.

I need to take this exercise break to focus on my eating again.  Sooner or later….hehe 4 years and counting I am still fighting the food demons.

How money can kill the sex drive, mood, sleep and ah yay loving feeling. I hate it when we fight over dumb crap like money!! Seriously! 

We’ve been on budget all month.  Little arguments about money.  Life was all good. We didn’t argue.  We were loving; we were like to high school sweethearts. 

Then thump dadda dummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!! It all comes to a halt.  I’m the frugal one in the family.  I’ve been the one who puts money in the savings account because if I don’t he will spend it up like nothing.  Thank God I do that.

Well, yesterday I knew we were low on funds and I check my account online more daily to make sure we are not overdrawn.  Well dorkbutt!!!! - did that at the ATM but thought we had more then the actual.  He goes and starts spending.  In the meantime I’m at home and checked the account, said, do a transfer so we don’t get an NSF.

DORKBUTT comes back home and says we have this $$ in the bank.  I was like no we don’t.  I check the account again online to prove to him I know what I’m talking about and to my horror most of the transfer money but $2.90 was left!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was livid!

Anyhow, figh insues.  But unlike other arguments, we were hot there was a few raised voices, but we squashed it within say 20 minutes.  At the end we decided the credit card and debit card is confiscated.  He is on a budget set by me.  You see, I don’t spend money - he does.  He knows this.  At the end of the fight he said more then anything he knows he has a problem with money and was so mad at himself for not keeping our budget plans in mind.

Until we can save up the money we want, yay - I have to agree.  I need to be in control of our finances; not because I’m a control freak because I’m not.  It’s because someone - my honey has no control and I’m the fittest of the two.

I have to take quarterly 1 week exercise break.  Starting today.  I feel my body asking for a break.  For the next week the only thing I will do is walk each day.  No KICKBOXING, RUNNING, YOGA, PILATES, WEIGHTS……………………..etc. 

Anne, I know Anne is on vacation but thanks Anne for enlighting me on this thing called Buddyslim support.  Yesterday Anne put out a blog for advice and even though I didn’t have time at that moment to give her information on weight training, I went back later in the day and gave her some advice.  She responded back with a THANK YOU!  OH my God!  That felt sooooooo good!! WOW, someone needed help and they were receptive to my response.

What did Anne taught me?  It taught this buddyslimmer to continue doing that.   Rod and I are cutting out a lot of computer time each night so we spend quality time together.  I won’t always have time to read every single blog like I used to. Frankly with all the hatin’ that’s been going on and some directed right at me from more then one person, I just don’t feel the need to put my time into every blog because let’s face it, not everyone wants the type of support I want to give.

With that said, I told myself I will focus on blogs that wants something - like advice -real advice on this journey.  Those who is receptive to it and want to truly succeed.   New and old Buddies who truly hunger for success - those are the peole I’m drawn to. 

I’ve seen the word clique thrown around a lot.  I’m sorry, but once you’ve been here for over a year you get to know certain people.  People who blogs each day, those who are active in the forums, those who are here because they know the value of each lb loss and how hard it is to keep it off.  It’s not my bad that I am loyal to those people first and foremost because they deserve support.  Heck this journey is tough, it’s an every day battle.  Each blog, each entry is proof of their dedication to their body.

I love seeing new people here and I love welcoming them.  Don’t get me wrong, but you know I can’t read each and every blog every day.

Last night AFTER I reported my food intake to the Cats, I went and just ate another 400-500 calories!  You know what I realized?  My body likes it when it eats 2000 calories - that’s when it feels full.  I guess for now I stick to that.

I went home and knocked out for a few hours missing out on kickboxing and Pilates. Thank GOD I ran my 5K+ earlier that morning.  It’s kickboxing and Pilates take two today.

ANOTHER THING: ALL THE GIRLS IN THE FORUMS I’M INVOLVED IN ARE HOT!!! They are doing it! My WILDCATS - ARE THE BEST!

Coming from a very abusive relationship with the ex, including let’s see -physical violence, like one day we fought and he used his Timberland’s to grind me into the ground. Ummmm roommate calls the cops and I cover it up.  Oh, the marks were there for three days; then there’s the non communication amongst us, he smokes his weed, goes out with his friends, screws other women then comes home to me………………..etc. leaves little room for finding true love with a good man.

Now - to my prince!  Can I call  him that? LOL I love him so much!!!  Now this man, would want to hurt any man who even dares try to move a piece of hair on my head.  He is my bodyguard, my baby!! He is my lover, my best friend and he loves me with every once in his body!!  I have to say, this weekend we reconnected on a whole new level.  Just me relaxing more and learning to let stress go, live in the moment, DRAMA LESS - dawg - gotta throw that in yah know CUZZ some people wants to bring it my way - that’s right!!  With all that, we just took our emotional and mental relationship to a  whole new level.  We went, got a room in LA and just spend time being a happy couple.

I LOVES IT!!!!  Sometimes I pinch myself to make sure it’s all real.  Like, dang, that man is real!!! Fo’ sho’!~!!   Gotta throw a  little somethin’ somethin’ in. LOL

Anyhow, no one is gonna slow my roll, not in life, not anywhere.  Oh yah, saw “tough love” mentioned a few times, yah I give tough love because I care.  Why I put it in my recruitment - because sugar coating anything will not help an individual get to the next level.  NEXT ISSUE PLEASE!!

I loved Tuesday night!!!  I got in my own weights session in with the BOSU, ran 1 mile at 9:10, walked at a 10.0 incline for a mile, then I just did a SET class for  an hour.  Set combines step and weights.  Because it’s I did 60 min of weights already, I used very very light weights and focus more on cardio.

Just for LOL, gotta share with you I love love sunflower seeds.  It takes forever to eat and I love cracking them and eating them and very healthy too………. ‘cept one day Rod was watching me and he said I spits my shells like a dude! HEHE  It’s all good.  I’m a tomboy and I likes it like that.  Can’t change me there!!!

AND THIS MORNING -  RIGHT NOW 5:37 AM I AM STRAPPED AND READY FOR A 4.45 MILES OUTSIDE!!!! BRB!!!!  Blaithin, catch you in a bit.

Update for me: YEP YEP, got 1 mile of warm up and cool down in. RAN THE FULLL 3.4 MILES WITH EASE!

What we are looking for are those who are committed to this lifestyle. We promote healthy living and exercise. If you guys have people who fits this profile and want to join a group, have them contact me. Preferably, people who are going to be active in the forums, send booster notes to their teammates, blogs…..etc, active Buddyslimmers.

We seeks serious buddies only.  

These are links to our current serious and fun forum.  Check it out! 

http://www.weight-loss-forums.buddyslim.com/weight-loss-challenge/5140-wildcats-serious-forum-6-every-day-caturday.html

http://www.weight-loss-forums.buddyslim.com/weight-loss-challenge/5045-wildcats-may-cheer-forum-calling-dr-wildcat.html

Wildcats:

The Wild Cats compete against two other teams–the Heartbreakin’ Rockstars and the Fitness Fanatics–to see who loses the most pounds on a weekly basis. We weigh in every Friday–with a 10:00 am cutoff time in your own time zone. You can weigh in earlier if you want, but preferably no earlier than Wednesday. We try to send out at least one e-mail or booster each week to all the Wild Cats to offer support and check on how you are doing. We also offer exercise challenges. You do not have to do them but we have had some members who requested them, so we offer them. You’ll find these exercise challenges posted on the Wild Cat profile each week. Again, it isn’t required that you do them, but it is highly recommended!
We have three forums. One is for cheering each other on (and having a little fun), and the others are our serious forums (divided into Cougars and Panthers) where you should post your plans, progress, ask advice, talk about your struggles, tough days or request additional support. We use three forums so that serious weight talk doesn’t get lost in all the jokes. If you find time, go to our Cheer section and introduce yourself there. You can find us by looking at the Buddy Slim menu bar and clicking Forum and then click Weight Loss Challenges and then click Wild Cat Serious or Cheer section. We will post your picture in our cheer section so other members know who you are.

In this virtual world what we write is  a reflection of us.  For someone like me who is in introvert, being here has opened me up.  It took me about 8 months before I truly had a voice.  I write my blogs for me and those who are open and interested in my life.  That’s what a blog is, a place for us, any of us to have free speech.  Whether or not it’s boring, that’s not my problem nor do I care.  I chose to open it for the public to read.  If you don’t want to read my blog, then skip it - there’s 100’s of blogs written each day!  Go read and support those blogs.

Whether I get one comment, no comment or 10 comments, I’m doing this for me and that one other person who is looking for support.  If that one person happens to be 30, well, guess what, I did my job as a buddy.  The key word is buddy.  I am that, your buddy, your friend, should you have me.  Should you not, then please, stay away from my page, my blog, my comments.

Whether I spend 5 minutes here or 5 hours here, God gave me the freedom to be me and do as I please.  No one will ever stop me from speaking my mind, loving my friends here or giving support.

My skin, that WAS thin, is a bit thicker.  It takes a lot to get through now.

Friends, the ones who has been here with me each day, YOU MEAN SO MUCH TO ME! I’M HONORED TO BE YOUR FRIEND.  No, you can’t shut this girl up.  She will take her time to spend getting to know you, to know those who are willing to take my hand and take this journey together.

Day 1 Back to outside running

Day one of my marathon training and I’m on course.  With Blaithin, I love Little Flower, in my head, I strapped on my shoes and just went for it.  No excuses.  Girl, I did it mama.  After my warm-up and stretch, I had a hard time getting into a running groove, but after about 1 mile, I found it…yep you would be proud of me.  I set a goal for a stop light, surpass it and kept running.  I did about 4+ miles of run with about 1 1/2 mile of walk in between if that.  With my buddies cheering me on in my head, the excitement of a race, the desire to perform well and some great music playing in my ears, I ran and loved it!!!!!!!

Running outside is a bit harder then the treadmill, but today I enjoyed it more.  It’s all about our mental state.

I hunger to succeed and I will.

Day 2

Back to strength training and my push-ups tomorrow morning and yoga at night.  Yep, took almost 6 days for the soreness in my shoulders to go away.  Boy, I need to do that Pilates class again.

Foodwise, this is the last day of no counting holiday.  Tomorrow, I will be back at it.

I am so EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blaithin, Emily, WILDCats, all my friends at Buddyslim…………..I am going to do my first race!!!!!  In September Disney has a 5K and 1/2 marathon.  Too bad there is no 10K.  But I’m doing it!!! I registered! $40 is going to be worth it!!!  I saw the race before but never thought I could do it.  But I will!!  Disney is 5 minutes from my house.  I can’t wait to do it! YIPPEE!

The second is the Long Beach marathon, 1/2 marathon, 5K and marathon walk.  Right now I don’t know if I want to do the 5K or the 1/2 marathon.

For now, I’m going to focus on the 5K’s.  I am doing 5K twice a week on the treadmill.  Blaithin and Emily,my girls, points out to me that I have to start taking my run back outside.  I’ve been slacking with the outside run because I have Rod mom’s car.  BUT I will try Memorial Day morning.

Then it’s a matter of building stamina and becoming more and more consistent with my outside running.  Hopefully I can do the 1/2 marathon in October.  That’s almost 4 months of prep time.

I’m so excited!! I just can’t hide it!  I am jumping in and out  of my seat!  I just can’t wait to start training!!!

I downloaded some great heart thumping music - mainly Euro trance remixes.  I can’t wait to put on my IPOD and just run tomorrow morning!!!!  Today no exercise - just time with my honey.  Food wise, no counting or worrying about food these three days.  I’m happy with that decision.

Excited excited excited!!!!!!!!!!!  Three months ago I just started my walk/jog!  Now I’m doing 6 miles runs, 5 miles and 5K’s.  1/2 marathon here I come!

I opened Buddyslim to ugliness and hate this morning.  I know a lot of it was directed at me.  I took so much for me not to counteract with vengence and hate and deceit on this  person.  But my Rod and Kama and Loni stopped me!!

MY tears fall because NOW I BELIEVE IN THIS PLACE!!!!  I know what I do every day is worth it!! I know that I’m meant to be here to be amongst friends who understands my struggle.  I won’t allow one negative person deter me from my goal - to be a friend back.!!!

YOU GUYS MADE ME SO PROUD TO BE A PART OF THIS COMMUNITY.

You stood up for me.  THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ve grown up a bit in Buddyslim world.  I don’t need to comment on pathetic blogs like that.  I just follow my heart and keep on trekking on.  Yep, it works.

The coffee kept me up most of the night!!!! LOL  That’s what I get for weening off coffee.  Anyhow, the only reason why I drank some with SPLENDA - something I have not have in a long time is because we saw Terminator at 10pm and I tend to fall asleep during movies.  Thus, I had to drink coffee.  Yep Almost 3 weeks without it made a 24ozer taste yummy and wired me UP!

Got up and had a nice lazy morning with my honey, if you know what I mean.  He took off for work and I chilled.  I saw the series finale of The L Word on demand.  Sad the show is over.  Great series.

I ate a huge breakfast of rolled oats and raisin.  Then took off for the gym.  I got a nice 5 mile run in!! YAH OH YAH!!!! Then I spent an hour doing more of a relaxation and stretch yoga on account of the 10 mile walk yesterday and the 7 miles run and walk today.  Boy did I need it.

I’m still protecting my shoulders.  IT feels 98% better.  The other 2% will keep me from doing any upper body weight routine today.  Tomorrow I think, think I can do it.  I am itching to get back to my push-ups but will wait on those as well.  I just want to do weights and yoga.

Today I am not counting calories or worry about what I’m eating.  It’s my free day.

Regarding whether or not we are getting engaged, we both decided that our engagement is too special.  He wants to make it PERFECT for me - everything I’ve dreamt of.  It’s not like we are going anywhere.  Thus, I will let him handle it.  Where there’s a will there’s a way.  He said, look, let me make it special for you.  I will wait for the ring to do it.  We both love each other to death but the ring, it means alot to me.  More because I want it to erase my past and represent the present and futre.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm This morning I set a simple goal = 5K walk in the morning and 5K run in the evening.

After much thought I decided to make this an exercise “off” day because I have a lot of exercise planned for the next 4 days.  On top of that my shoulders is still a little sore, nothing bad because I watched my form and did the Pilates workout correctly.  It’s from doing a very good session with a very good instructor.  Soreness tells me I did it spot on.

However, I’m am a worry wort.  I prefer to baby my body versus pushing.  Therefore no weights today and probably tomorrow.  With that said, the run will have to wait too for tomorrow.

You know me, I won’t take anything standing up - literally.  Being this is an off exercise day I did yep 10 MILES OF WALKING!   All before , during and on my last break.  I don’t consider walking an exercise for me because I don’t sweat like I would like say running or kickboxing or step.

What did today and a lot of my unconventional exercise days taught me?  NO EXCUSES!!! I refuse to give myself an excuse not to exercise.

Time running short?  Make time for it…, no equipment - WALK!  Do push-ups! Do something!

I refuse to play the I have no time game.  If you don’t make time for your body, you won’t get what you want out of it.  Enough said.

Oh, and this is me venting again….not talking about anyone in particular.  Just me telling myself how it’s done in Nancy’s world.

Just like your food, you have to know how to zig zag your exercise to get the most out of it.  Never stalemate your workouts!

Yes, don’t ever settle!! Settle leads to failure.  Set goals and go into overdrive and get it in but also be mindful of your body.

Food wise I barely made the 1680 minimum.  I packed some roasted corn on the cob for the movies.  We are going to see Angels and Demons.  Won’t be surprise if I hit my 2000 mark today.  Even so, that will keep me in the right calorie range.

Saturday morning, ok, gotta really do my 5K run unless my shoulder is good then I do weights and yoga.