Rod opens up the ex’s MYSPACE file - see the baby; I ate at midnite & 3am!
My food angel finally fell last night. So goes the COACH bag I wanted. 100 days? Didn’t make it past Day 16. Yep my brother comes home at midnight and made the most delicious rare steak salad with Asian hot sauce dip. I ate that with liver of course. SIGH. Not to be outdone, I get up at 3 am and mindlessly ate the carrot cake, a small piece but I did it anywayz!
Earlier in the evening Rod was curious about my ex. He said to me you know he still has a myspace account? Took me off guard. I’m like I don’t know because I don’t check it. Why would I? So he proceeds to look at his profile. Which I then had to muster up the stomach to explain who’s who. My ex-niece in law,the ex sister in law and ex mom in law…
Then of course, there was picture of the girl he cheated on me with, proceed to be with AND A PICTURE OF THE DAUGHTER THEY HAVE NOW! I told Rod I don’t want to see any of it because it brings back a lot of pain. Everything that has led me to who I am today. He said he just wants to see what my ex husband is all about. Well, it didn’t sit too well with me. I didn’t want to let Rod know how effected I was by it.
I want to leave the past in the past. Nothing comes good out of this. I don’t want to be reminded of what I perceive as a failure at being a wife back then. I don’t want to be reminded of WHO I WAS. I was 220 lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s the old me.
I’ve moved on and have a good life now. But for a few hours I was sad; has nothing to do with Rod. Just thinking about my ex and even, when his girlfriend was pregnant with that baby he was calling me trying to reconcile our marriage and NOT divorce.
I made some good decisions on finalizing it. I do appreciate my Rod more and look at him with renewed love and admiration this morning. I love the man I have now.
SO, the result of looking at the ex’s profile = No COACH PURSE and emotional nite time eating.
Today I am back on track. Will certainly not let one night get to me. Already at the top of my game with food. Can’t wait to get to the gym for my 3 hour playdate with Step, Kickboxing and Yoga.
(((((((Nance)))))) I’m sure that was really hard on you! Ok so the food demon won last night? So.. start again! Day 1 tonight, aim for that coach purse again.. don’t give up!! NO WAYY!!! You can do it! Tell Rod to stay away from the ex-s facebook… you don’t need that garbage!! Like Kama was saying… we don’t need any negatives, only positives!! God for it!! You can and WILL do it!!
I am starting over again. 100 DAYS Here I come!
You’re such a strong person to be honest with everyone around you and especially with yourself. A lot of people wouldn’t have the courage to fess up they’ve fallen off the wagon! Go you, and I sympathize about your ex. My husband asks me randomly about my exs and tries to figure how he compares to them – very painful. Hang in there and 100 days will fly by with the encouragement and support of all your buddies here! And thanks for the note!
Whoa! Dust your shoulders off and start again, You will get this purse!!!! I’ve been slipping too
Sometimes it IS good to look in the past though Nancy.. just to see how much you have grown as a person. And it also made you appreciate what you have now… so today is day 1 of 100. You can do it babe!
Lost 16 days toward your Coach purse? TOTALLY not worth checking out what the ex has been up to! Next time tell Rod he can look if he wants, but you want nothing to do with it.
Anyway, men don’t cheat because a woman is inadequate; the ones that cheat do it cuz they’re selfish, uncaring dogs. 
But I’m sure you already know that! Doesn’t make it hurt any less, but rest assured, if he was gonna cheat, he’d have done it no matter how good a wife you had been. **Hugs!!**
Here’s to the next 100 days being wonderful so you can get that bag girl!!
Aww Nancy… You can’t let that jerk keep messing with your emotions(the ex). You are a better person and obviously have always been better than he can ever amount to. He not only made you stronger but you found someone REAL in the end.
I was thinking… Maybe Rod doesn’t like the idea of this guy from the past still causing you pain. Maybe that’s why he did that, to see if it still hurt you, still had a place in your heart.
Girl…. You should at least allow yourself warnings or something!! 16 days down the drain because of one slip up??? I think you are being too hard on yourself, it was a rough day for you. Give your self a break.
ugh i hate cheaters!! so glad your happy now!!!!
Grrrr…. Ate my comment!!!!!! >|
I’m sorry to hear that you had such an emotional night
It can be rough to look at pictures of an ex, especially with the history that you have with him. Things happen, you’re already back on track. You can get that coach purse!!
Just in case you don’t find it… The main thing I wanted to say was give yourself a break!!! It was one slip up! You had a rough night, cant you let it slide just once???? C’mon Nancy…16 days down the drain because of one little slip up that really wasn’t even bad.
About the ex… You have so much better now. Just imagine, that woman he’s with now…. Hes cheating on her too! Thankfully you found better. You deserved better.
So true Mel!
He did cheat on her - WITH ME! More then once. I mean I spent that 1 1/2 years by “myself” sort of waiting to see if we were going to get back together.
I hate talking about my exes to my boyfriend, because I consider it a waste of time. It is painful but also a reminder that I have now what I thought I had back then.
nancy, that great idea to start over….don’t let you can do it
U’ll get the Coach bag this time slugger!
U’ll get the Coach Bag next time SLUGGER!
Starting over …. with the purse, it’s almost symbolic. Good job facing up to reality. You WILL have a nice, new Coach bag to carry with you into your new life.
Sending you HUGZ girl! I agree with you, the past can be so painful, lets leave it in the past! But I am so proud of you for appreciating your life, you are so beautiful and strong and have so much in front of you!!!!
Peace Always,
Leah♥
(((((((((Nance))))))) you are sooo much better off now. So proud of you, you are an amazing strong woman!
Love the pic, too!
That is so hard. I sometimes sneak a peak at my ex’s myspace and it always depresses me a little so I try not stop myself and not look at it.
Just think about how amazing you look now and how much Rod means to you and know how much better your life is. I know it still hurts…
You are an amazing lady! You’ll get that purse!
It definitely is best just to leave the past in the past, hopefully your boyfriend’s curiosity has been answered and he will leave it be now. Although I don’t know the situation it sounds like it was really hard on you but it’s great you have been able to move on and use it to better yourself.
Have fun at your workout!!
Even though it could be a good thing to look at the past once in a while to see where we came from over all it’s called the past for a reason and should stay there
Now that you got that out of your way and the steak salad and carrot cake are gone, time to start over and keep your eyes on the coach bag not the ex 
Sorry that you had such emotional night hun
You can do it hun! ((HUGS))
LOve your goal…and that you are starting over.
Sorry that the ex brings so much pain…
I could only imagine the pain.
You are so strong and so much better now.
*hugs*
Enjoy the gym.
Oh no, acountability fine, but I think in this ONE instance you should be forgiving yourself and NOT counting last night. One, it was so tough-emotions and Two, you deserve the bag, so back to it? Well at some point you better get the bag ;)…just my thoughts. Have a great day Nancy!
Ah, let the past bury its dead. Or however you say it. I think we all sometimes wonder about how our life would have been if we chose a different man, family, city, country… But it sounds like you’ve made the right choices, so it’s a good thing! It’s up to you if you want to reset the clock on that bag or keep counting - I think either can be a good choice depending on the reasoning.
Nancy, you so rock. That sounds like a brutal reminder of a very bad time. I would have binged too. Well, actually I did and my only excuse was boredom! I love your idea of a luxurious reward for a 100 days w/out a binge. I’m getting on that bandwagon… there’s this Dooney & Bourke I’ve been eyeing… I’m calling today DAY ONE!
You have also inspired me with your wonderful classes - I’m signing up for a Pilates Matt class that starts 4/6. I’m so excited.
Hang in there & thanks for sharing your story.
Joanie
awww, sorry to hear that you were feeling down after looking at your ex’s myspace page. But your right, you have Rodney and he sounds like a much better person than your ex was.
You’ll do better tomorrow!
Emotional eating is a bitch. Girl, dont let it get you down…it happens to all of us. Instead of saying goodbye to the bag why dont you just give yourself a penalty. Maybe add a day or something on to your original bag day. Dont let this one night derail you.
((((((Nancy)))))) We all have our moments. Don’t let it get you down. You are such a fighter!!
That Coach isn’t going anywhere….You’ll get it! Have an awesome day! Trish
Hi Fellow Diva. I read your posting and was stuck on WTF for a minute. Rod’s curiosity and men’s curiosity in general can sometimes NOT be good for us as women.
Now here’s my optimistic spill. Your ex doesn’t have any power over YOU. That was then and this is NOW! You are the bomb and I like to think that the new girl and new baby does NOTHING to take away your ex’s regret of blowing the ultimate chance with you, a real live DIVA!
Now from one Diva to another, I say UP your goal gift. In addition to your Coach Bag add a small matching Coach wallet, Coach travel bag or dammit even a Coach suitcase. YOU ARE SO WORTH IT! I
If Rod needs to work overtime or take out a small loan to get your DUAL Coach set, then so be it. Handle your business girl. Next 100 days. I got Next!
How much did the ex hubby weigh? That’s how much dead weight you lost prior to your solo journey. Good riddins. You’ll get that Coach and buy some shoes to go with it.
Sweetie, I know it was rough to see, but think how much better life is NOW that you respect yourself more than to put up with a man that doesn’t respect you! You are a BEAUTIFUL woman that I am SO glad to have as my friend and fellow tribemate! You are AWESOME! Remember what I said about the boost and the parachute, my friend!
Hey girlie… now I can understand why and how you and Rod had such a row yesterday (I’m reading your posts backwards in time!)…. after that upset with seeing how your ex is doing… your nerves were on edge (the binge prooved that). It unlocked so many unconscious emotions that you havent dealt with yet. Funnily enough, when you dont deal with these emotions, they stay on your unconscious. They lie in wait until something happens in your conscious life that upsets you. That’s their opportunity to come to the surface. Then you do stuff like binge, row with the people you love… and you know why you do this? To make yourself feel worse.
I know, it sounds strange… but by making yourself feel worse, you are kinda dealing with these unconscious emotions, but in a round about way. Then they go back into your unconscious, because you havent directly dealt with them… so they can crop up again in the future.
Talk it out with Rod.,.. I know you will anyway…. but he has to know how much it hurts you to talk about your ex. But you do have to deal with these latent emotions Nancy. You’re too good to have all this still impacting on your life.