Why I am succeeding this time around; WHY I WANT THIS SO BAD!!
I have been asked by numerous buddies lately, latest is my good friend Jen :), how I do this? Well, I know I will never be 120 lbs like my sister. I will be the weight that fits my body frame.
I’ve always been the FAT friend most of my life even when I was of average weight. In second grade I weighed in at 100 lbs. That’s heavy! Being Asian is bad for big people; especially back in the day. I was compared to an elephant, I was called fat, the boys didn’t like me because I was always the fattest one in the group. I had very low self esteem.
Then when I met my ex, he accepted me for my size and when I was dating men of a certain race (Rod’s) I found out being thick was ok. Well, when I got with my ex-husband my self-esteem took a nose dive, I spent more time worried about him then I did myself. I fought depression and not being loved by my ex. I ate a ton of food all the time.
Just to give you an idea of what I used to eat:
Breakfast: nothing, didn’t like breakfast
Lunch: Crappy food at work usually fast food, lots of burgers, cups of noodles, chips, cookies
Dinner: huge platefuls of rice and whatever was made for dinner. Oh my God now that I think about it maybe about 5 to 7 servings of rice alone
Snacks: I can eat a dozen Crispy Creme donuts by myself!
When I found I couldn’t save my marriage, I decided you know what, I can’t do this anymore! I WILL NOT BE A VICTIM! I WILL DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!
And I did on Jan. 1 2005. I started out walking. 5 minutes and I was out of breath. Did my own version of Atkins, but kept 1/4 of my rice intake in. 8 months later I lost 40 lbs with just walking. Joined 24hr fitness and learned I lost a lot of muscle when I lost the 40 lbs. I then became a gym rat. Like 15-18 hours a week. I did Step, yoga, kickboxing, Cycle, swim…Bootcamp…. and more. By 2006 I was down to 150 lbs but I lost most of my butt and legs from doing weights, kickboxing and yoga 6 days a week, 2 to 3 times a day.
Well, guess what happens when you overtrain? YEP!!!!!!!!!! INJURY! I tore my groin muscle so bad, the doc refused to allow any exercise, just rest. But hard headed Nancy did it and reinjured myself over and over again. Depression and because I couldn’t get my exercise high led to 9 months of nothing and a gain of 30 lbs.
When I joined buddyslim in April of 08, I did it because it all clicked again. I told myself this is the last time I start over. At 180 lbs my Rod was in thick curve heaven. The man couldn’t keep his hands off me. But I had to do this for me once and for all. I don’t need to prove anything to the ex. It’s all about me!
So through alot of personal therapy and love from my Rod, daily log in and being active here keeps me focused on my goals.
See, this weight loss journey taught me a lot about myself. One, I love food. This addiction alone makes it impossible for me to have a “normal” life. I have to make sure I am always on guard.
What works for me:
-I don’t have cheat days because every day would be a cheat day. Instead I eat in moderation. Darn it Holly can tell you I eat some doritos at least 5 times a week or if it’s in my face.
-I don’t eat out often because I can’t control what I put in my mouth. So I make a lot of my own food.
-I steam a lot of my food. I eat a lot of veggies, fruits, fiberous foods and very little process food.
-I eat food in it’s most natural state. Like I eat raw apples or steamed but with the skin and no extra fixings
-I use simple ingredients in my food. Very little salt and sugar if any at all
-I exercise moderately. I only do about 10 and at most 13 hours a week.
-I cross train my exercise with Yoga (my first love), Pilates, kickboxing, running, walking, Atheltics training classes, dancing, weights, free weights mainly, body weight….etc. For example one day I’ll do push-ups, then another day hit it hard with a class and another day I do free weights along with the big boys.
-I use both the gym, the outdoor and my bedroom
-I drink a ton of water, green tea and coffee
-No soda or sweet drinks except once in a while
-I make a connection between my mind, body and soul
-I challenge myself each and every day. If I did 300 push-ups one day, the next it’s 310 or more.
-I respect and love myself first. AND THIS IS THE KEY!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH TO WANT THIS! NO ONE ELSE CAN DO IT FOR YOU BUT YOU! Then you can love your boyfriend, hubby and your other loved ones. You have to be first! There is no going around it.
I promised myself this - when I turn 40 I am going to be one hot 40 year old COUGAR! :)
My motivation comes from knowing my self worth. I am worthy of this. No one can do it for me but me!
All I can say is WOW that hit home THANK YOU!!!
Kind of funny girl,
I just wrote a blog about why I wont quit even when I’m so down I feel like caving in. Our message is the same…we do this for ourselves…we gotta promise to never give up no matter how hard the journey and there is a lot of that huh girl. While I didnt put in there i’m worth the journey, I do mean it too. Each of us is worth the time, effort that it takes to be on this journey.
Thank you for this blog-so many of us need it. Love ya girl,
Yes, the self-love and respect thing is definitely the key! That’s what has me so motivated! Don’t you wish you could give that feeling to others, too? I guess each of us has to find it in our own time, in our own way.
Now I’ve got that song in my head from the movie Breakin’: “There’s no stopping us, no one does it better!” *sings to Nancy* lol!
Ah Jen - how sweet! Now I’m singing it
It’s true isn’t it? We have to love ourselves. As women we tend to love others before number one. ((((JEN)))
Deb, I’m walking to your blog now.
Loved this blog girl.. I relate this so much to every aspect in my life. I’m goin through a lor right now so this was like a reality check for me. Thnx Nancy~ Hugs~
I’m glad you posted this! I’ve talked to so many girls on here that just don’t get it! They battle back and forth putting their selves down. And then they wonder why they are over weight… You said it! You have to respect and love yourself first!
Well, my dear beautiful kitties Mel and Jess, you two are doing it now. I love you guys!
I love to see where you’ve been, what you’ve been through, and all you do each and every day to get where you are! You are such a huge inspiration! I still want to be you when I grow up!! Love you girl!!
Thanks for the blog. I realized today that the past week or more I have settled for doing “the minimum” because “I was still losing weight” so it must be “good enough”. It’s not good enough though. I need to challenge myself more. I LIKE challenging myself more and feeling proud when I improved on something.
You hit home on so many levels and many issues in this blog. We have to love ourselves. Thank you!
I enjoyed reading this blog a lot !:)
You are absolutely amazing ,waht can I say? Never forget how far you have come, or your worth. Love you!
Wonderful, inspirational Blog!
Thanx
You’ve come a long way Nancy…not even just with your weight, but just your confidence. You seemed to have lost it when you were with your ex-husband, but you’ve definitely regained it back. You are amazing & an inpsiration to many. I know that you won’t ever go back to your old days. You’ve made that committment to yourself!
Now I really don’t feel the love…you gonna be a COUGAR when you are 40?
LMAO! Okay, now to get serious…there are so many times that I can “relate” to a blog, but this one really speaks to me. When you said about doing this for you and loving yourself enough to do it…it was like you took the words from me. You and I have spent countless hours emailing, texting, and talking on the phone because you are so full of knowledge and motivation. AND you did it with hard work and perseverance! Not a pill to be had! You should be VERY proud of yourself and how far you have come. I know I am proud of you!
AWESOME BLOG NANCY!!!
Thanks for the encouraging words and wonderful example.
Thanks for the blog!! Very inspiring and I relate to a lot of it. The mind, body, soul connection and loving yourself IS key!
Very wise words. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.
Thanks for sharing this. It’s very encouraging for me and has got me rethinking why I want to lose the weight. I have had the wrong reasons for a long time and just recently have turned toward the right direction. Thanks again!
Amen Sister!
^5 Nancy… you must be my long lost mind twin because I could have written that girl.
(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
haha that is why there are NO chips, crackers or anything crunchy besides almonds in my house b/c I share the same love. My poor husband never gets doritos anymore.
You have come SO far and I think you look great even if that stupid BMI doesn’t think you are “normal”. You are SO strong and everytime I do a pushup or grab for the heavier weights I am starting to understand what it feels like to feel strong, it is COOL!
OMG!! This entry made me wanna start singin some Chaka Kahn like, “I’m every woman, it’s all in meeeeee!” Thanks so much for sharing your experiences with us!!
I’m South Asian American and girrrl, YES, you couldn’t have said it better! I’m not fat by any means, but in the past few months I’ve gained enough weight to be considered chunky and when my ma saw my recent pictures she didn’t say I looked like an elephant, but she sure did say I resembled a big PUMPKIN! Not cute!!
Haaahahaa.
Dating men of certain ethnicities, I too, have found that the thicker I am the better! Recently, however, I’ve developed a crush on a white guy and I do feel VERY self-conscious around him… it’s never happened before and I dunno what to do with myself when I’m around him. I just get the feeling that most white celebrities (Jen Anniston, Reese Witherspoon, Sandra Bullock) have the bodies of a twelve year old boy! It’s hard to compete with that and I finally just resigned myself to not be too pressed about it. I wanna lose this weight for me, too, not b/c I might be deemed more attractive by certain ethnicities.
It’s just a bit harder to do than I realized, haha!
Your blog was so inspirational, though, came in perfect timing!! Thanks a million
thankyou, from the bottom of my heart for sharing this, ur life. It helps & u wouldnt know how much , it does.x
i know all about curve heaven haha. My boyfriend of a year and a half is black/bahamian and he sees nothing wrong with my weight… he is often my enabler but your totally right you gotta do it for yourself. Very inspiring blog, i look up to you like a buddyslim sister!
I’m so glad you wrote this blog!!! Thank you Thank you Thank you. It is always so inspirational listening to what you have to say.