Khmerbeauty 1 Life 1 Destiny

It’s 5:15am California time and mom & I just made it home from the Casino.  I knew that eating Casino food is not on my agenda.  So I cut up two Fuji apples and boiled 3 eggs.  I ended buying 1 homemade tamale from a street vendor outside of Target.  That, 3 eggs, 1/2 an apple, 1 Starbucks double shot and 1 Monster kept me awake.  I can’t stay up past 12 - 1am at the latest.  So this was so so hard for me to do.

NOTE:  This is my first monster drink as I don’t like anything other then green tea, water and coffee.  The Starbucks - that was a treat and another first sweet drink purchase in a long long time.

We had fun.  We lost $300 but hey it’s been such a long time since I’ve done this where it’s just the two of us.

So off to bed I go now.  My Rod is in LA drunk and asleep on a friend’s couch thank God.  Do not want him to drive.

I need to sleep then eat for my 6 mile run with Rod later on today.

Before I forget note to sleepy self, I bought mom some Jack in the crack food - ate 4 fries and 3 bites of a burger.  (This is more for me then anyone else - accountability factor).

GOOD NITE/MORNING LOVELIES!

333 what does it stand for? THE NUMBER OF REGULAR PUSH-UPS I DID TODAY! Whooo hoooo *Pop my own collar*. Nick, this time I did not bump my head on the way down!!!!

All the hooplah yesterday over my blog took my attention from blogs and the forums. Sucks big time but will try to make up for it today. Whatever, time to move on to other issues. Dead issue to me. I made my point. Way too many other issues to address and people to get to know and meet. I care maybe too much at times but hey, I speak my mind and not afraid to voice my own opinion in my blog. If I was rude to someone on their blog then I’d understand.

Anyhow, forgot to say that I changed up my breakfast - as a test! Test worked. I ate 3 servings of pasta with meat sauce. Yah know what? It kept me full from 8am to 1pm. If I eat my usual, I try to eat the oatmeal and apple, then a raw apple and 11am then lunch by 1pm. I loved it. I think I will go buy more organic whole wheat pasta for work next week.

Today I changed up breakfast again. Ate raw mixed nuts and sweet potatoe chips instead of my usual. Gotta keep it fresh.

Rod and I also ate a huge fuji apple before our run yesterday. He did have a tummy ache along the route but I didn’t. I think he was just using it as excuse to catch his breath from walking.

Tonight I’m taking my moms out! Just me and her to the Indian Casino in San Diego county. I gave her some money, money I don’t have but hey when she’s gone, I can make more of it. So we are going to just have fun. She gambles I watch her gamble and have fun. She is the ultimate slot machine lover. It’s her escape from reality. Right now I need it too.

Then tomorrow is 6 mile run day!!!!

Love you guys! THANK YOU FOR PUTTING UP WITH ME!

It’s so awesome!!! So so great!  After about 20 minutes of RODNESS making excuses…I’m tired, I’m out of shape, my butt hurts, I can’t find my shoes, where’s my grey socks?  Rod and I went and did a 4 mile JOG/RUN/LITTLE WALKING!

Well He walked and I ran up and down from one light to the next.  He was a good sport.  We did it together our first official marathon training!  Whoooooooooo hoooooooooooo

We did it in the streets.  I want MORE MORE MORE!  But butthead is “tired”!!!

It’s time to eat and whoo hoooo relax. I LOVES IT LOVES IT!  Ok I want to do it again on Saturday.  This time on my other route via the church.

OH YES BABY!  WE DID IT!

Wonder how he’s going to act the next time I bump it up to 6 miles?

If somebody asked me a month ago if I can see myself even running a mile I would laugh in their face.  Bahhh hahhaaa like I would run - who looks around for the REAL runner…

But I’m glad this is becoming a part of my life.  It’s the only way to go up up and up.

Wowzer, I used one too many exclamation marks.  Excited,  yes!

Look I’m just going to make this short! Why do you feel you have to weigh everyday? Why do you want the scale to CONTROL YOUR FEELINGS? Why do you want the scale to dictate YOUR LIFE!!!!! The scale is A MEASURING TOOL! It’s one tool only!!! You are sabotaging your efforts by getting on that machine day in and out and several times a day!!!! Put it away - use it once a week, naked in the morning after you pee and before you eat. Then put it away!!!!!!

If I weigh myself each and everyday you all would be dealing with a BITCH! The scale doesn’t move for me - for months now!!! Do you think I let it bother me? Sometimes but most times not!!! You know why? BECAUSE I AM MAKING A LIFE CHANGE!!!! I’m not LOSING WEIGHT!!! I want to be HEALTHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, as much as I love to exercise - I RESPECT AND LISTEN TO MY BODY!!! I will not exercise everyday of the week. I will not run my muscles to the ground!!!! What I do is give it everything it needs, food, water, weight training, yoga for flexibility, pilates for core, cardio for the heart. But not EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 times is the MOST ANY OF US SHOULD WORK OUT ME INCLUDED!!

REST is just as important as the exercise!!!!

SO PLEASE - PLEASE - DO NOT LET THAT SCALE BE THE CENTER OF YOUR WORLD!!!!

RANT OVER!

Remember Rod’s ex-girlfriend that’s also my friend? Last night we had a chat and I think I hurt her feelings.

The scenario: She and hubby been married for almost 4 years. The husband wants to go to a strip club with the cousin. She won’t “LET” him because she doesn’t trust the cousin and she refuses to give him money to go to a strip club.

At first she said to me I don’t have money to give to him for the strip club but he said he’s going to borrow from his mom and go anywayz. Then she said I don’t trust the cousin. Then she said well I should be able to go with him. Then she said I don’t want him to go look at another woman and be with them.

I addressed all the issues. Whether or not he gets the money from you or mom - he’s going.
Whether or not you trust the cousin is irrelevant. You need to trust your husband. Maybe one day they can go together - which I think is a great idea.

Whether or not she wants him to go is a matter of trust and faith they have in one another. The bottom line is I asked her “This is NOT ABOUT THE STRIP CLUB IS IT?” This is about the two you not communicating, which leads to internal conflict, which leads to mistrust.

AND BIGGEST OF ALL - she cheated on him when they were together for a while and he never knew!! - That’s her problem……she cheated and now she can’t trust her man because somewhere in the back of her head she knew she done wrong.

Whether or not she knows about the strip club - he’s going!!! She says he can go to the pool hall and any other places with the guys but not the strip club.So I told her the best bet, is to give him your approval at least, you know where he’s at. He will go to the strip club even after he tells you he’s going to the pool hall. He will go because he wants to WITH OR WITHOUT your approval.

See, she is mad at her best friend for saying let him go - she thinks the bf is not backing her up. Rodney is telling her to let him go and I told her to let him go. So she stopped the phone call at that point.

For me personally, I ‘ve been to a strip club for men and women shows. No BIG DEAL!!! It’s not. My Rod can go whenever and with whoever he wants (he won’t though) because he knows I trust him. Those girl have nothing on me. In fact I feel like I look better then them.

My question to you is….what would you tell this person in this situation? Yes or No?

Or if this was you, would you allow your boyfriend, girlfriend or hubby or wife to go?

WOW!! It feels so good to be back at work, chatting with the chatterbox tribe mates and being on here with you guys!!!!!

I am refreshed and ready to do it!!!

320 - yep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! got that extra 20 in I wanted to meet goal of increase!! Whoo hooo I love the push-ups (yes regular ones) because I know someone is going to ask me that questions and I did them with better form then before. I told my triber mate Nicole that I was taking it low low low to the ground and bumped my head a couple of times. That’s the goofy me back.

I love my oatmeals and apple combo in the morning! It gives me a ton of energy.

I’M BACK AND BETTER THEN EVER!!!!!

So I was going to do pure weights today but decided - Salsa baby Salsa!!! See it’s fun but I don’t sweat like I normally do in kickboxing. Good fun cardio I can do for an hour.

I notice a bunch of people are seeking motivation……you have to find it within yourself. You need to look in that mirror and say - I can do it right now!!! Not tomorrow - right now!!! Today is the day. So go out there and do what you have to do to get your workout in and food in!!!!!

BEST OF LUCK!!!!!!

I have to tell you how honored I am to be a part of this community. The tribe love -KAMA, ANJ, LORI, DEBBIE, NICOLE AND TRACEY all pulled together and refuse to let me crawl into a hole and hibernate.

Buddyslim - you guys I love you! You gave me the kick I needed when for once I started doubting myself.

I used to deal with depression for 10 years. These last few days was hard but with you all by my side I’m better!!

My bootay went out there and did it!

Before I forget - yes I ate a ton before classes:

Organic whole wheat pasta w/ meat & onion sauce, 4 kiwis, 1 large banana, 2 hard boiled eggs, 1 thigh and leg chicken - steamed, a ton of water and some cheeze it.

THAT WAS NOT THE RIGHT MIX GUYS!

See I read an article this morning that pushed more protein then carbs for exercise - well I tried it today and it didn’t work.  Next Monday I will go back to my high carb low protein for a 3 hour day.

I did two classes - the hardest which was Step and Kickboxing. I’m home now and in 3 hours I will do my own 1 1/2 hr yoga w/ Rodney Yee dvd’s.

Tomorrow I am taking a day off cardio and just do weights and push-ups.

Well - what can I say but to thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!!!!!!!!! I needed you and you came through.

NOW OFF TO READ BLOGS AND PLAY IN THE FORUMS!!!!!

Thank you guys as always for the love. At the moment I suffer from cloudy head syndrome. It’s that stuffy feeling you get when you have a million and one things going on. I needed a break from everything so I called into work for a day off. I have so much personal, sick and vacation time it’s not a big deal.

Here’s my problem - I feel less like myself then say in the last 9 months. Unsure about a lot of things. Money woes and what not. But as you all have taught me by example take it one day at a time.

I should be eating like a mad woman for my Step, Kickboxing and yoga combo but I barely ate some pasta and kiwi and it’s almost 12pm.

What I need - a kick in the behind from you so I can get going on the eating and make it to 1500 cal by 3 pm.

I need motivation today and I need you. Butt turned in foot direction.

The last three days have been the worse in a long time for me. I wondered to myself could things get any worse? I’m doing my best to stay positive and keep on keeping on as the saying goes. Life gives me lemon I make lemon balls and juggle it all.

Twice on Sat and today I missed my usual workout of Step, Yoga and kickboxing. But as I read in a fitness article, it’s good to mix the indoors with the outdoors. That I did with success but not without soreness.

Like yesterday, I did not make it to my favorite Sunday kickboxing class. I woke up to the most delicous food but did not GIVE IN!!!! I have you guys to thank for it. I stayed strong and kept up with my fruits, miso soup and ate as light as possible.

It was another cloudy day so I took complete advantage of it. I figured yes, keep switching it up - From Monday to Thurs. of this coming week I have a lot of classes to attend and 2 runs to prepare for.

Why not? Why not try that walk again? I was on my 5th mile when Rod found me; It was a scheduled find - but I was hoping I was further along.

SECOND ANGEL CALLING WAS A PEE RUN! I grew up Baptist/Methodist and went to a couple other places. Yesterday I saw the church but sort of let it go…another time another day…until my moment with the “1st angel” from my previous blog. Today as soon as I saw the church I had the strongest urge to pee. None of the restaurants were open so I went and used their bathroom. I decided why not today? So I was introduced to one of the church leaders, gave them my information and we - Rod, his son and I are attending it next week.

After some tearful moments with the person I told her I have to go back on my walk but will be in touch. Sure enough - the exact same spot I met the girl yesterday I encountered negative energy via a young man that gave me the chills. I know who sent him my way. It never fails; the moment I invite Christ back in my life it always happens.

This weekend I went back to basics. I lost 40 lbs walking when I first started 4 yrs back. It was nice to do such a simple exercise and I enjoyed each walk tremendously.

So I am back on track!!!! I got the 5 miles in, weights and 1 hr yoga!!!

Tomorrow is healthy food fest time! I’m eating 1500 calories by 3pm for my 3 hours of kickboxing, step and yoga. WHOO HOOOOO!!! Can’t wait for it. I look forward to my Monday just like a kid in a candy store.

It’s bad enough I binged all day yesterday, but you all my house smells like Denny’s right now!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn’t sleep all night last night which made it impossible to get up at 6 eat and get to the gym at 8am for kickboxing class.  So I need to come up with a modified plan for today.

I wake up to 2 lbs of bacon, 16 waffles, pancakes, egg omelets, rice porridge and coffee and french fries.  First thing I did walk to the kitchen and picked up a bacon and stuffed it in my face - that is till I realize I can’t do it today.  SPITS IT OUT!  My sis just kept cooking!!!

I have to get back to all fruit, lean protein and good stuff today.  Yesterday was a fluke and I have 0 excuse to eat bad today.

WISH ME LUCK and pray the food gods to help me!!!!!!!!!

I’m cutting up my apple now and making green tea.  I will get my exercise in.  PRAY PRAY!!

OH AND BEFORE I FORGET - 2 FULL BOXES OF DONUTS - that someone gave to us as a GIFT!!