Khmerbeauty 1 Life 1 Destiny

So, 5th day of recommittment to myself - feelings?  Mixed. 

It’s pretty stressful at home.  I’m keeping a positive mind and attitude.  I mean, what else can I do right?  Crying isn’t going to help, getting upset won’t do anything but make the matter worse.  But I have to say Rodney is hard to be around.  Sometimes I wonder if it’s easier being single again. 

This morning as I was dressing for work, I really took a good look at myself and for once, is happy and content.  This feeling is new because I’ve been struggling and fighting to get to my “perfect image” but I like what I see in the mirror.  I’m not at my ideal weight but I feel healthy, I look decent for someone in her 30’s.  I really don’t have a lot to complain about.  I’ve decided to go easy on myself and not push so hard to get to goal. 

Anyhow, yesterday I had a great workout.  For strength, I warmed up and just went at it.  I primarily used dumbells and the row machine, steps leading to the 3 floor to get a cardio kick, a stepper to do combo moves, I did a few sets of push-ups and continue to change the intensity of the sets with different weights.  There was a kickboxing class but I opted out - the class doesn’t fit my style and taste.  I took the Pilates class.  Ok, it was tough but I really enjoyed it.  It’ll get easier as I continue to go at it.  Once a week is enough.  Then I jumped on the elliptical.  By that 3rd hour I was spent.  Didn’t push myself, kept it at a low resistance but enough to get a sweat.  Then off to pick up my honey and head home.

 I tought I wouldn’t be  sore today - wrong.  I can feel the soreness in my shoulders, back, bicep and triceps.

I have a kickboxing class tonight.  Other than that just getting ready for the weekend.  

So it’s day 4 of my recommittment to a better Nancy.

Due to recent events, I’m forced to change my workout routine and the lifestyle I’ve had for the past few months.  With us carpooling, I have a new workout schedule with new classes.  God knew what he was doing.  He knew I needed change but unless forced to I wouldn’t stick to what I know best.  If Rodney didn’t lose both cars the other day, I would stick to my routine and maybe continue on this plateau I’ve been trying to shake.

Today, with him being at school and one of the gyms just a mile away, I’m taking the opportunity to do a 3 hour day.  I won’t be able to make it to my Lift class.   But I will do my own routine; just gotta elbow myself in between dem boys :).   Then it’s to an hour of Pilates and an hour of cardio to finish off the night.  I’ll mix up the cardio - stairmaster, elliptical and maybe treadmill.  Last week I found myself doing almost an hour on the elliptical at level 11.  Just a few months ago I was huffing and puffing at level 8.  I don’t like the recumbant bike - doesn’t give me a good sweat.  Then some yoga before picking up my baby from school.

Tomorrow will also be another change.  No 5:45am kickboxing class since we are carpooling.  But will go to the afternoon kickboxing class.  The difference - about 60 people and less room to do my thing.

So out with the old and in with the new.   

Next week I have to switch out my beloved Monday routine with Nygel.  So no kickbxing and yoga :(  :(.   With him in class I’ll be plowing away in a core and ab class then moving on to a hip hop class.  Now, I can’t dance so I hope I don’t bail out on it.  Sucks that there’s no yoga class to close out my night.

Life is tough.  For every step forward I feel I take 5 back.  My faith in God will get me through it all.  

After a couple hours spent at kickboxing and yoga I come back to bad news.  My boyfriend asked that I pick him up.   Found out Rod’s car was repossessed.   We knew it was coming but what we didn’t prepare for was also losing the van the same day.  He got into a major accident and the van is all messed up.  Found out his mother cancelled the insurance policy  2 days ago.  The estimate to repair the van is $3000.00.   

I think I’m still in shock.  Prioritizing is important at this point.  We need to focus on him going to school, me working, budgeting our money wisely and just live one day at a time until we figure out plan B.  We’re back to square one - I’m the only one bringing in money.  To be honest, I’m not too stressed out about it.  I believe everything happens for a reason.  This may be a blessing in disguised.  Rod should not be driving because of issues with child support, a bench warrant and them suspending his license due to child support.   His school is one exit away from work.  We are carpooling and it’ll be ok.

 I am staying optimistic that things will work out.  After all, gas is sky high, carpooling is good for the pocketbook and environment.  I was watching a documentary on a man who is half man half tree.  He has a skin disease due to low white cell count and virtually no immune system to fight warts that are growing all over his body.  He doesn’t have hands but branch like warts and growth - but you know what, he has a loving family.  People who are there for him.  He has two beautiful children and he smiles.  If a man who’s covered in warts, branches for arms can smile and laugh, then I have no problems.  He is my inspiration and I will smile and just keep on living optimistically.   

I have to modify my workout schedule so that we can carpool.  Will be sad I won’t get to go to all my favorite classes, but I will take it as an opportunity to explore and try new routine and classes. 

I had a long night.  I didn’t eat enough calories yesterday so at 3am I woke up and had some toast.  I blame it on Rodney for keeping me up to watch a movie - j/k.  It’s all me.

 My shoulders and back are sore from yesterday’s 3 classes.  I did well ovr 40 tricep push-ups in yoga.  I’m proud to say I did them all and did it with good form.  The step class was fun but really not me but I’ll do it again next week.     

So I’m switching it up a bit today; will do 3 classes again.  However, I failed to get up for my 5:45am sculpt class; will make up for it tonight with adding a set class in after yoga.  Not thrilled about doing my strength conditioning after cardio but it will do for today.  I’ll do my kickboxing and yoga class with Chrisie.  I’m afraid she will also incorporate some tricep push-ups into our flow today but I can certainly handle them. 

I’ve had a pretty active 3 days.  Tomorrow is my off day so my body can heal. 

 In terms of food, I’m sticking to what I did yesterday.  It provided enough energy to sustain me through all 3 classes. 

Ok, so yesterday I bombed on food.  But I forgot to mentioned, I did a 35 min. of upper body, 1 hr of kickboxing and then swam with the family all afternoon.

Thank you to all my buddies who came out to support me and my blog.  I do appreciate it.

Today I stuck to my food plan.   I had enough energy to do my kickboxing, yoga and I added a step class tonight.  I put all my energy into the first two.  The step class was just an easy 45 min. of cardio because it’s been 3 years since my last step class and because I just wanted something to do while Rodney is at school.

Well, tomorrow morning it’s 5:45am power sculpt class, then afternoon kickboxing and yoga.  Wedneday is my day off so my body can heal.

Ok, gotta take a shower now and relax.   Have a great night everyone!

This weekend I was on such a great roll.  I had my journal.  I used it to jot down all my food and exercise.  It kept me mindful of my food intake and I was feeling like I was getting somewhere.

 Looking back I ate well on Friday and Saturady.  Then Sunday morning I was watching Paula cook on FN.  She’s making Asian food including eggrolls.  We started talking about how I’m the queen of eggrolls.  After a few yes and no’s I gave in and we went to get the ingredient.  I was telling my sister how I really need to stick to what I’ve been doing and not overdo it with the eggrolls. 

 I made 25 eggrolls; and ate about 6 or 8 by myself.  I couldn’t get myself to log in into my food journal this morning.  I am so mad at myself for giving into temptation. 

 Haaaaa, so here I am this morning wondering if I can undo yesterday.  I wasn’t going to blog because I am really upset with my lack of will power.  But I want to have this in writing so in a few months I can look back at my mental state when I started day 1.

 Today is my Day 1.  I am recommitting to myself to get on with it with my food issues.  No more BS’ing.  Sticking to a few simple rules - Eat better, especially after  work and on the weekend, move around more during office hours and continue to add new exercise to my routine. 

Eat breakfast -  protein, complex carb and drink48 oz of h20 by 10am

Snack - complex carb, 2nd 24oz of h20

Lunch - lean protein, with veggies and complex carb,  3rd 24o of h20

Snack - complex carb and dairy - no water, can’t make it through my class without a bathroom break

Dinner - protein and simple carb (my white rice) and vegetable, 4th 24oz of water

Exercise - ’bout 1 liter of water

August 25th
Breakfast - 1 whole wheat toast with jam and whipped cream, 1 hard boiled egg, water and cup of coffee with 1/2 and 1/2

Lunch - grilled chicken breast with romaine and honey mustard dressing on 1 whole wheat tortilla shell -toasted, water

Snack - 1 cup of blueberry and blackberry with 1/2 cup of non-fat yogurt, water

Dinner - leftover homemade stir-fry chicken and vegetables with 1 cup rice, water

  Exercise - kickboxing and yoga

This is my personal gym workout challenge.

Yesterday I challenged myself to do 3 back to back classes.  Not only did I do them, but I did them well.  I increased my weights by 5 lbs, which made a big difference because I was at a 10 by the 3 set.  I also challenged myself to do regular push-ups, and I was able to do 35 of the 50 the instructor challenged us to.

Due to my success yesterday I realized that I can go beyond my comfort zone and do more then I thought I could.  Even though I was tired due to lack of good sleep, I still got up and made it to my 5:45am kickboxing class.  Can’t do more than that today but I did get my cardio out of the way. 

If you were to ask me 6 weeks ago how many push-ups I can do, I’d say 5 at the most.

I put a lot of time and dedication to my routine.  But I need to amp it up.

So I’m challenging myself to be a fitter person by the end of the year.  Whether or not I lose weight along the way, at least I’ll be stronger then ever.

I have some trouble areas that I need to focus on.  By setting these goals I hope I’ll be in tip top shape by X-mas.
Strength and endurance
Current: Regular push-ups   35
Goal: 60 push ups done in sets of 20

Current: 2ea 8 lb dumbells  for bi-cep curls - can do up to 6 sets, with the barbell I’m at 20 lbs. 
Goal: 2ea 15 dumbell by december at 4 sets,  with the barbell I want to be at 40 lbs.

Current: 50 lbs on lat pull down 5 sets
Goal: 70 lbs 5 sets

Current: 10 lb for individual arm tri-cep, 15 lbs for both arms, sets various depending on the routine
Goal: 15 lb for individual arm and 25-30 for both arms

Current: Shoulders, I do various exercises at different weights depending on  move.
Goal: Increase the weight by 20% by year end.

Current: Low and high Row, 40 lbs, 6 sets
Goal: 70 lbs, 6 sets

Yoga
Current: 1 minute of plank push up sometimes with one leg
Goal: 5 min plank with 1 leg at 2:30 min. per side

Current: 20 tri-cep push-ups at 5 push-up incraments during class (before going into chaturango in yoga class)
Goal: as many as asked for during class - 1 legged and no bounce

Current: I still can not get my legs straight at a 45 degree angle in boat pose
Goal: To be able to hold boat pose with perfect form for 1 minute

Current: In eagle pose, my fat calves are too big to wrap around my other calve.
Goal: To wrap 100%

Current: Tree pose with eyes open, can do all day long
Goal: Tree pose with eyes closed for a couple minutes

Current: Side plank with mermaid 5x, 2 sets
Goal: Side plank 1 leg only with mermaid 5x, 2 sets

Cardio
I’m doing about 5 kickboxing classes a day.

By end of this year I would like to add/sub  different classes to keep it fresh.

I want to:
Do a couple spin classes a week
Add 1 Pilates class and continue with 3 classes of yoga
Keep one power sculpt class, 1 lift class, 1 day of my own routine
Add jump rope into the mix.  Maybe work up to 10 min. a day
Run, maybe 2 miles but always have shin issues
Experiment with different classes at least one time

So yesterday I had everything planned out.  Work, leave work, go home for a couple hours then head to the gym for a spin class followed by a Pilates Fusion class.  This Fusion class is a new one for me; I’m used to regular Pilates.  I was so excited about going to the gym.  I wanted to practice the new round in kickboxing, wanted to get the routine down pact so I can focus on form.  Then I wanted to end my day with something new.

WELLL, I get home and relaxed with my honey.  I told him I’m leaving for my classes soon.  Dang, he got psychological on me.  Told me he can tell I’m gaining weight because he sees it in my butt; then tells me he’s going to his mom because I’m going to the gym.  I told hime about the new class I”m trying and he tells me Pilates is Bull$*FHsh%$#*.  I told him I respect his opinion but I know it’s a great format.  I guess he realized he attempts to keep me home wasn’t working; 6pm comes by and I got dress to leave.  Guess what?  He pulls out the sex card.  I swear, I was watching the clock and trying to hurry things up.  Well, well, I missed class, not one but both. 

I told him never again will I come home before going to the gym.  Most of the time I do my morning routine by 5:45am, work then if I have an afternoon class, get dressed at work and straight to the gym.  This strategy of coming home to chill and leaving didn’t work and will never be attempted again.  I told him he will not keep me from my workouts. 

He starts art school today and it happens to be an evening class.  With him out of my way I am going to attempt my first 3 hour block; something I haven’t done in a while.  Excessive? Not for me, I used to do 3 hour blocks about 3 times a week about a year ago.

I’m starting it off with an hour of Lifting, then an hour of cardio - kickboxing, then a regular Pilates class to close out the night.  

May sound crazy, but I want this day to be over so I can get to it.     

I failed guys, completely and utterly failed last night.  I gave into the food monster.  I had every intention of sticking to my food plan but I didn’t.  The moment I walked through the door I went straight for the pantry and started munching on crap, first it was the crispy no good for me noodles you put in a salad, then it’s a fudge bar but only ate half…I was still hungry but I was really trying to stay on course.  Dranking water, didn’t help….then I smell bacon.  Bacon, one of my favorites.  Guess what I do?  Made four slices for myself.  Man, as I was eating the bacon with rice, I was in food heaven.  I was enjoying every piece but with every piece I tell mself no more..yeah right.  I ate it all.  To top it off, I eat some chicken breast with rice at 8.  But I knew I was still hungry and all I needed it someone to offer me food.  Sure enough, midnight comes around and my honey has fast food.  I of course ate someo f the fries and a bite off his burger.  I don’t know why I ate it; all I know is the urge to eat was stronger then my will power.

This morning I scheduled in my morning workout and set my alarm.  At 5am, when it went off I did not want to get out of bed.  The thought of snuggling in bed with my BF was so tempting.  But I did it.  I forced myself out of bed and drove to the gym half asleep.  Got my 1 hr of power sculpt this morning. 

 Today I feel a lot better.  I decided to opt out my usual morning cereal for 2 eggs with whole wheat toast.  I am holding up well.  No crazy cravings yet.  I have an hour to go before lunch and I’m doing ok.  During days in which I crave protein, no amount of carbs, no matter how complex or good for me will do.  I realize that that was my mistake yesterday.  I was trying to stick to my usual food and not play into my body’s request.

Today is a high protein day.  I hope I don’t overdo it with the food.  I have two classes, kickboxing and yoga, this afternoon, which I need fuel for so I’m hoping it will offset the bad I did yesterday.   

I sometimes feel overwhelmed when it comes to this whole weightloss journey; like right now I feel like giving up.  But  I know taht I’m doing the right thing for my body, my health and my well being.  I don’t and will not sabotage myself anymore.  I just have to keep going at it and sooner or later it will pay off. 

Positive, positive thoughts. :)  

I hate this time of the month.  I feel like a completely different person.  I have been craving junk food since last night.  I can’t stop thinking about salty food, sugary food, the fattier the better. 

Last night I ate pretty late.  I was so hungry and I wanted to inhale my dinner.  Instead I made an instant asian noodle, dump half of the packaged spice and noodle, then sipped on the liquid till we started eating the main meal.  

Today has been sheer torture.  I ate breakfast which was 1 cup of cantloupe, toast w- jam and cream cheese, had Fiberone cereal with 0% fat milk but was still hungry.  So I ate some dried fruits and raw almonds.  Still hungry I had lunch which was 1/2 chicken breast and white rice.  Just now I ate 1/2 a toast with whipped cream cheese and jam again and about to eat 2 cups of fruit with non-fat yogurt.  And I’m still hungry.  On top of that my usual gym freak self don’t want to go work out. 

I am so glad I didn’t have an ounce of junk around me because everything mentioned above would have been replaced with fatty unhealthy food. 

I will go work out.  The fruit and yogurt made me feel better.  I hope this eating binge won’t continue on once I get home. 

Wish me luck that I don’t yell at some innnocent soul for being in the wrong place at the wrong time because my friend TOM isn’t a friendly visitor.