My dilemma - He says he misses me
I’ve been so busy working and working out that I didn’t realize we were growing apart a little at a time.
This morning I got up at 5:30am, got to the gym and put in an hour on the elliptical as they don’t normally have classes that early. I came home and was in the process of selecting my work outfit when he woke up and said to me, “You work out too much. I think you are addicted to the high from it.” He continue on saying that I’m over doing it and on and on. In the past I would react defensively. This time I just finished getting my clothes, hopped in the shower and thought long and hard about what he was saying. After my shower I crawled back in bed and said I thought about what you said and I want to come to a compromise. I’ll cut out the Sunday workout and get a few good intense yoga videos I can do at home but that I still love going to the gym. I love the feeling I get after an intense session, I love doing different things like my lift class, yoga, spin, kickboxing, camp, etc. Everything takes time. And above all, I give so much to the family that the few hours I do spend on me is the only time I’m selfish.
I asked him what is truly bothering him, he said that things have changed. He misses me because I’m always gone. He said I’m so tired from long days that our intimate time is effected; to be exact, our lovelife is suffering. I realized then that we have to come to a compromise because I don’t want exercise, the desire to lose weight and be the ideal person for me effect the one person who loves me for who I am already. He said he doesn’t care how I look because he loves me but I told him I’m not completely happy with who I am now.
For today as I already got in an hour of cardio, I will not go back to the gym but straight home to spend quality time with him. Now I have to come up with a work schedule that works for both of us, so that I feel like I’m getting my dues in for my body and he gets his girlfriend. It was much easier doing all this, spending hours at the gym when I was single. But now that I do have someone who loves me, I have to doe what is best for our relationship.
I think comopromising is good as long as he is compromising too! I’m gonna share my favorite quote with you now: “Never let someone else become your priority while you become their option.”
Wishing you the best!
Wow thats a tough one. So is he in shape? Why doesnt he go for a run with you ro something if he misses you so much. Its not like you’re doing something wrong by getting into shape. I mnea if you ARE overdoing it, then by all means,tone it down a little and make time, but if you feel comfortable with the amount thatyou are doing, maybe HE can make some adjsutments too and in the end live a better lifestyle as well.
Looking greta keep up the good work!
it’s gas….loads of us girls have problems with our fellas not liking how much time we spend working out…but not many of the male buddies have the same problems with their others……what’s that telling you? Men need to get on board. If a woman wants to work out, to lose weight and feel better about themselves…then they shouldnt keep tring to discourage us from reaching our goal.
Haleygirl - thanks for the quote…that’s why it took some time before I replied to his comments.
doinitup - Yes, Rodney is in great shape. The thing is he’s Kenyan. He’s is built like a marathoner, 6′4″, long legs, 6 pak abs - natural because he doesn’t work out at all, tall, lean, lean muscles without lifting a finger…I always joke and tell him he needs to run a marathon because he it’s so natural to him. I don’t think I’m overdoing it but I do spend hours working out but on different formats. It’s not like I run for 3 hours straigt or lift for hours on end.
blaithin - I told him we will talk about it tonight. He insist that I stay true to myself - in this case, staying fit, being healthy and losing weight is being true to me.
Thanks everyone for your comments
I think you should talk to him. I am sure he does miss you and doesn’t think he is as important and he was before. I am sure you will both come to a compromise, without compromising yourselves. I think that makes sense?? Best of Luck…Let us know how it goes!
