Khmerbeauty 1 life 1 Destiny

I hope no one is offended by my newest default pic.  The reason why I decided to put it up is pretty personal.  See, Rod and I had some fun with the camera.  He used one to do a MAXIM cover for me for my birthday.  I used a bow to cover up any ahhhhhemmmmmmmm body parts that may show just a weeenssssiee bit too much.  Why this pic?  Because I’ve worked sooooooo hard to earn it!  So why not?   For those who are understanding thank you….for those who don’t I can only say I’m sorry but that is the best I can do to be conservative.

I for so long don’t like what I look like on the outside.  Taking risky pictures is  one step closer to self confidence.  I’m still very shy but you know what, if I can help one buddyslimmer realize their own self worth and that our bodies are beautiful, then it’s worth it.  To be honest, I’m really nervous about having it up.  Not sure it it will be well received.  If not it’s only a delete button away.

Yesterday was HOT!  I was soooooooooooo sore from the 4 hours of exercise Thursday.

I slept all morning but did get up for the noon Kickboxing and Ashtanga Yoga. Food wise - no counting calories for the next 3 days.  I want to enjoy my 4 day weekend.

Today we are having a huge barbeque for the family.  Then we are taking off for Hollywood for clubbin.  My sister knows the promoter so we are all getting in free.
Oh, who wants to pay for an arm and a leg for drinks?  So we do it ghetto style - drink before we get there.  But I’m not drinking at all as I’m the designated driver.  I’d rather let my baby and the rest of my family drink.

I’m planning on going to a real Bootcamp class - not my bootcamp at one of the top level 24HR Fitness in Irvine.  Can’t wait to see what it’s about.  AND I MISS MY PUSH-UPS! PLANNING ON 250 REGULARS!

About alcohol - I usually don’t drink and lately just the thought of it is a big turn off.  Like today my sister made all kinds of mixed drinks and wanted me to drink.  I just don’t want any.  The last time I drank then tried to work out the next day, it didn’t go too well.  I prefer a goodworkout over drinks any day.

HAPPY 4TH!!! Eat, enjoy yourself and be safe!

Why are some people so he** bent over on controlling others?  It’s THEIR LIFE!! Let them live it!!!  Who are you to sit and criticize others?  Especially when you don’t know of their personal trials and tribulations?  Who are you to point out and call them out on things they’ve talk about?

I’m sorry!  AH, I’ve worked almost every single work day since I was 18 yrs old and never once did I depend on anyone even my mama to take care of me!!!   I am an independent woman - always is and always will be.  Everything I have - I bought other then gifts!  My bills - I pay them!! With my hard earn money!!!  No, I don’t get the luxury of spending days on end at home to go to the gym whenever I want.  I don’t have time for hobbies other then the few hours after work.  I have never had the fun of being a stay home anything!  Only time I get to do nothing is on the weekend and occasional holidays.

My relationship is full of respect.  Never once do one of us do things that are not mindful or considerate of the other.  He is my partner and soon, when all the flags are lined up and he gets his green card, finish school, we will turn the tables around.  Until then we are doing our best to make it happen.  I’m very happy with my relationship.

If you truly want to talk about someone, make  sure you know of their situation first!  I get tired of relatives who hear snippits about my life and start in on me about what’s best for me!  Go wipe your own butt!  Until you truly take the time and invest in me, then you got nothing to say to me unless I came to you for an earpiece!

Just realized I vent about random things! LOL!  OK, PENT UP ANGER GONE!   None of it makes sense to me! bahhhh hahahahaha

I ended up doing my own weightlift routine an hr before yoga.  That’s 2 hrs down and 2 more hours to go this evening.  I’m tying in a different kickboxing class to the Pilates tonight.  I think I’ll even swim if I have some time.

Food wise - eating good stuff all day!!!!  Munching on some cherries I bought for $1 a lb at the grocery store.

MY DON’T COME ON MY BLOG DISCLAIMER: THIS ISN’T ABOUT ANY OF YOU!! DO NOT THINK I’M PERSONALLY TALKING ABOUT YOU!! I DON’T KNOW WHY IT HAPPENS!  BUT IT’S MY LIFE, MY JOURNAL AND I’M TALKING ABOUT THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO ME WITH MY FAMILY.  SO IF YOU THINK YOU ARE IN MY BLOG - AIN’T ABOUT YOU!

I had so much fun on the last blog!! You guys made me so proud!  You all are so understanding!

I am taking a much deserved day off to have a 4 Day weekend!  I skipped the gym to hang out with my family and honey.  We took off for the casino for dinner at the best buffet.  I did very well.  Since I ate mainly fruits, veggies and protein during the day I had a lot of room for a buffet.  The great thing about a 5 star buffet - all you can eat crab legs, lobster and sushi and other stuff I won’t look at.  Oh!!! And chocolate covered strawberries!! I ate it all but never over did anything but the lobsters.

I ate a few fried shrimps - yummo, some rolls, and man of man like 6 lobsters!  They are small but heck - all you can eat lobster not so bad!  I did win many hands.  Even played Roulette but I came out even.  No win no gain except a good time!!!!

Well being that tomorrow is the start of my vacation, and if we don’t go to Vegas, I have 4 classes I’m doing!!! WHOO HOOO!!!  I have an 8am Lift Class, 9am Kickboxing class to follow.  Then I have Power Yoga at noon.  Then sleep and a final hour Pilates class at 7:30 pm.

In terms of food to prep for this, it’s about 300 cals of food at 6am and an energy bar 220  cals between classes.

Then Friday - whew, I can’t wait to do classes I never get to due to work!!!!!

Just one note, I Have an off the wall sense of humor.  95% of the time I joke a lot unless Miss Wildfire is in the house.  Don’t take me seriously, seriously.  If you do, you don’t know me at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All in all I plan to eat about 2500 calories Thursday to sustain all my classes!  Yep, good food good food!

Well, it’s early morning and no way can I catch up with all you fine men and women folks!!! Will do tomorrow.

Need I say more about the pictures above???? Well, I hope it shows up because my work computer sucks!

I’ve come up with a theory why I’m not losing weight and it’s not my fault!!! LOL!!!!!!! Just hang out and listen. I have a sabotager named Rodney!! See, he can’t gain weight if he wants to. Instead he loses weight rather easily. Last couple of weeks 10 lbs because we were broke. So like every night, at midnite he wants to EAT A FREAKIN’ DELUXE ICE CREAM!! See the pic - proof you all - proof!

Well, since he can’t gain weight he wants to “pretend” he owns some fat…..so who’s closest to him?? Me!! If I don’t lose my weight then he can wrap his fingers around mines and pretend it’s his if only for a few minutes!

Far fetch but true! LOL

Seriously, men love thick women and fat on us because it’s as old as momma earth. It’s a sign of fertilty except with me there is no fertility in site! teee heeee heee!

I will consider myself lucky that he is holding on to my fat longer then I want to.

OH JASON, a men folk - buddyslimmer wrote a great blog today!!!! FUNNY as he**!

See, he was wondering if he’s THAT guy that roams the halls of the blog and creeps us womenfolk out.

Well, one we need more men on here - starting to wonder why it’s just us with weight issues right?

This is my take on it: IF I decide to open a blog, it’s because I’m going to read it. And if I read it the writer will see my image on their page as a reader. Out of complete respect for that blog and if it’s open for comments, I WILL ALWAYS COMMENT! It’s my way of showing respect for the time you put in to write down your thoughts. SO thank you for sharing a moment of your life with me.

I don’t ever just go by a blog just to read and leave. For me as a writer, I appreciate it when fellow friends read and comment. It does make me wonder why some people come by to read and say nothing. I understand we all have busy lives, but it’s nice when we are acknowledged by our peers.

From me as a reader, if I read your blog I will always comment. Even if it’s just to say GOOD JOB! And I’m just don’t have time to read and respond to emails or booster notes. I keep updated on all my friends via blogs. SO TO ALL BLOGGERS - THANK YOU FOR BLOGGIN ON BUDDYSLIM AND SHARING YOU WITH ME!!!

A very tired Nancy!!! ROFLMAO!!!

Ahhhh guys!! He didn’t eat peanut butta’ but boy is he as ON as ever.  I came home and I took a nice nap.  The mistake I made was prancing around the bedroom naked.  My baby just couldn’t help it.  One thing led to another and your girl here missed the gym.  He asked me to stay home and hang out today.  I did.

I’m going for a 90 minute swim and considering it an OFF exercise day.  We bought me some ear plugs, got my goggles, ready for night time swimming in our complex’s pool

AH THE JOY OF RELATIONSHIPS AND A HORNY BOYFRIEND!!!!!

It’s all good - I have kickboxing and Pilates tomorrow.  Will try to fit weights in before the night ends. Blaithin, I keep goaling for a morning 5K run.  I think I will do it tomorrow morning.  Have a feeling I’ll sleep good tonight!!!! LOL

Will be back to read blogs after my swim ladies!!!!

Update - didn’t get 90 but 60 minutes of all laps  in!  It’s sooooooooooooooooo beautiful to swim under the stars!!!!!

Well, I guess that burned some good calories.  I did much better then last summer.  Yep a lot of advancement in a yr.  Now I can eat 2000 calories and be happy happy!  YAY!

That food addiction!!! The one I fight every day! It’s relentless I tell
yah! Last night after I wrote my blog, my Rodney did a wonderful job of
buying Del Taco and bringing it home and into the bedroom.

Of course what do I do? I ate some of chili cheese fries. Just a few
bites. Then I asked, honey, can I have a bite of your burger? He said no!
He said I know this is your weakness and I’m trying to help you. He said,
“aren’t you suppose to be the one setting a good example for your peers?”
Of course I go into Wildfire mode, threw a few huffs and puffs, goes into
the kitchen and eat some broiled chicken and rice.

You know what I try to use as justification for eating at now 3am in the
morning? That I pushed my mom for a couple hours and hungry from the
casino. But did I forget to mention I also ate some not so good and salty
peanuts to and from the casino?

Forget about the 3 hours of exercise I did yesterday or the other 2 or 3
today. I don’t use my calories burned against my food intake.

My problem spelled out: I H A V E AN ADDICTION TO FOOD!!!!

I find that lately it’s gotten worse especially with night time eating.
Probably the last 3 months.

DID I think it would get easier as these years passed? YES!! But no - it
has not gotten easier.

Yes, I eat a lot of healthy food - but that doesn’t wash the fact that I’m
constantly thinking about food. It’s seriously sick!

My exercise has nothing to do with my food issues.

My problem now and I will win - is the fact that I always want to eat.

So at 10am I already ate some cottage cheese and granola, 3 sv of cucumbers,
1 extra large mango in waiting and this is all before lunch!!!!

The thing is, let’s be real I eat about 2000 calories a day - a ton of
fruits, veggies, complex carbs, good fats, good amt of sodium, and hi
quality protein…..but in the back of my head, I hunger for the bad stuff.
The second, I swear the second it’s available - I go for it like a drug
addict. Honestly, I don’t even think, I just put food in mouth and sigh
from satisfaction.

Well, I’m not complaining. I have 5 months before I come up on my 5 year
anniversary of weight loss 78 lbs. I’m giving myself 5 months - 5 months to
see what I an do because heck, if anyone tells me it’s easier 5 years from
now I might bow to them as the food God!

I will never give up but some days it seems like I can’t win against my own
food desires. BUT I always and will always try to right any wrongs; even if it’s the next day. LOL!!

See, have to have a sense of humor to deal with this!

Do broke people go to casinos?  Well, Monday night that would be me.  My brother was going with his girl and my mom - I tagged along.  This was after 3 hours of fun at the gym.  I got there and my mom forked over some money and  I lost it.

Then I check my brother who’s I don’t know why but playing in the Hi Roller section.  I saw a large stack and I took just $25.  I took that and made some dough. :)  Gave my mom $40 lost a bit and brought home the rest.  Nothing big, but enough for me to go to Costco to buy some strawberries, blueberries, cucumber, cottage cheese and to Mother’s for organic neccessities.

My brother, what can I say, came out ok tonight but that’s the life of a gambler  You win some and lose some.

On the way home we wanted to get Jack in the Crack.  I was thinking, how am I going to work the calories in?  Luckily we get there and there’s an Exterminator van outside.

Yep, saved 500 calories by not eating there.  Came home and gave my honey some money so he can eat.  Yep, poor guy is sooo skinny!! Weighs about 165 lbs if that right now!

It’s 2am and I’m tired.  I think I’ll eat a snack because I pushed my mom in that wheelchair all evening.  It’s a great thing these casinos are 1 to 2 hours away; I would be broke every day if they were any closer.

Tonight I have a 5K run planned - but Blaithin it’s at the gym.  I’m tying that in with an hr of weights and finish off with yoga.   I hope to get under 28 minutes this time for the run.  Wish me luck coach!   Oh, also have 300 push-ups regular planned!  I know I can get back into the higher count!

I can’t believe it!! I’m so ecstatic. My baby truly has a job. The only thing is I really want him in school full time, but the whole issue with his green card or lack of it as it’s in process, he can’t get Financial Aide to continue on with art school - until his mom comes back from Kenya.
Well, my baby aced both interviews and got a job doing Customer Service/Marketing support for the Orange County Register - and with a background - that’s some good stuff!! See, it helps to be honest and truthful.

Also, I tell you complaining is not my deal and not something I a lot. Like I wrote yesterday - I’m broke and don’t even have gas in both cars - but managed to get a hold of $3.00. You know what I did with it? I didn’t buy cheap, pathetic fast food. No Mickey’s food, No Jack in the Crack, No Carl’s Jr.

Instead I walked to my fav Korean store, bought 2 lbs of carrots, 3 Persian cucumbers, 2 extra large mangos and 3 lbs of Fuji apples. Now, it’s not organic but my point is I bought good nutritious food!

So, I don’t believe the bullsh** when PEOPLE say not having money means it’s time to resort to processed or fast food.

If I can make it happen on $3.00 - ANYONE CAN! I have a receipt to prove it!

See, that’s why I can’t stand it when people complain. I could have sit back and ate the fast food then complain I have no money and ate crap.

With that in mind, I will have all the nutrition and fuel I need to do my triple classes. Case closed!

A TAN DARKER THEN RODNEY’S!!! lol

This weekend I spent as much time away from Buddyslim as I can.  I find I spend way too much time here.  There’s good and bad to that.  Honestly, I need to take time out for my family and friends and I did just that.

I exercised  a lot before Buddyslim and should there be a day without Buddyslim I will continue to do just exactly that.  I had to prove that to myself this weekend.  Yep, I am me without this place.  I’m not addicted to it like I used to.  On top of that, the vibe here has changed.  It’s not as friendly as it used to be.  I don’t know what happened here.  But sad to say, I’m not going to keep supporting people who don’t support me.  It’s a two way street.  I thank my friends who have stuck by me from day one and new ones too.  But I WILL NOT spend time on people who doesn’t take the time to be there for others.  You rub my back I rub your back.  Just my thoughts.  Just my thoughts.

Yesterday I went for a 10K run outside in the early morning.  Not timed or anything.  I just got it done.  It was nice.

Then I spent the afternoon swimming with my 2 and 5 yr old nephews.  In the evening I went for a nighttime swim with my brothers and sister - a ton on fun.    All in all a totalof 4 hours of activity.

Then today I spent the afternoon swimming for 2 hrs with the nephews and my niece. MY Lord, I’m almost the same shade as my honey.  Yep I am so tanned it will stick on me for the next 6 or 7 months.  *SIGH* Most people want a tan but not me.  Back to night time swimming only.

Monday exercise is bittersweet.  It’s the last Step class with Nygel before they cancel it on us. I frankly, am soooooooooooooooooooooo broke that I don’t have money to buy the fruits and veggies I need to sustain 3 hours of exercise.  But I’m going to devise a plan to get the money that I need.  Pay day isn’t until Wedneday. :(  My poor Rod lost 10 lbs from not eating so much but you know we didn’t spend our money wisely this time.

I will make the best of tomorrow with all three classes.  I’m enjoying kickboxing again and can’t wait to do it with Nygel.  Then finish off with Yoga.

Fountain of youth is not a fountain or a pill………..its loving yourself, eating good nutritious food AND EXERCISE!  It’s about taking care of yourself everyday.  I’ve gotten carded more times now then I ever did in my 20’s when I was fat.  No pills for me - just give me some self love!

What’s a better to end a Friday then taking two great classes?  It was soooooooooo muuucccchhhh fun!!!!  KICKBOXING AND HIP HOP IS ON!!!!!!

HIP HOP takes II was much better then day 1!  I’m not as scared to be myself as I was last week.

Yesterday I used the BOSU and did this side to side low stance move on the black side.  Oh my I was feeling it in my sides like crazy today.

Anyhow, it’s on here.  I did two 5K’s this week.  My other cardio goal was to get back to a 10K.  I will do it tomorrow.  No excuses.  The new running shoes are broken in.  I’m going to go to bed early and get an early dawn run in.  This will be the first 10K in about 2 weeks for me.

I’m not sure what happened the last two weeks; my interest in kickboxing came back and been pushing my run to the side.  Well, I can’t do that if I have two 5K’s to do and with Blaithin in my head telling me I can do a 1/2 marathon, I’m a bit scurred.

I hope tomorrow early morning my report is the 10K all run is in.  NO, I know that will be the report.

Then in the afternoon I plan to do Nancy’s custom bootcamp!! WHOO HOO!!!  Feels good to be on track again and again.

But I do know where I’ve fallen off the wagon with in the past 3 weeks - my yoga classes!  I went from doing 7 days a week to maybe 2 days a week. :(  I just keep running out of time but no more.

My mom, found out an operation is in the making to remove her feminine parts.  She’s scared but I told her to go for it.  It will save her life.   I feel bad;actually I’m having a hard time dealing with it all.  I don’t want to think about losing her on the heels on losing such great people.  But I will have faith it will all work out.